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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

A Ray of Roshni?

It is my intention to bring all my friends uptodate with the developments so far. I intend to apprise you of all the potential candidates that I have met so far and the reasons why it has not worked out so far. That should be an interesting story to tell and I am trying to find time to narrate it.
In the meantime, I recieved word from one of my local contacts in Houston that there is a girl he would like me to meet. This contact has actually been my mentor in other things as well and I respect him a lot. Anyways, this girl is a software person. She is an ABCD and apparently belongs to a nice Gursikh family. Her brother is some sort of a lawyer and you know what they say about lawyers. Hopefully, the girl does not have the litiginous streak in her. Anyways, here comes the surprising part. She belongs to a Jat family and her family does not have any hangups about the boy being a non-Jat. Well, ordinarily,I would raise my left eyebrow at that but hey "never say never". Anywho, I am supposed to go to their house this weekend as they have the langar at their house for some reason. My friend cum mentor is supposed to accompany me. Earlier, I used to feel somewhat nervous about these things. I mean going to some stranger's house and touching everybody's feet and calling everybody uncleji and auntijii. I know this is all good stuff but I would still feel slightly uncomfortable with all this.

But now I think I am becoming a veteran at this. I pretty much know what is coming. There will be myriads of people with their piercing eyes and calculating looks trying to poke at me to find out what stuff I am made of. And then there will be my potential princess, as nervous and uncomfortable as I was ages ago........anyways, i don't want to jinx anything right now. I will keep my fingers crossed and hopefully you will too. Needless to say, all the minute details shall be recorded while respecting my and their privacy. So, hold your breath.....

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Why has this been so hard?

I never thought this whole process would be so hard. You can guess my chagrin when I refer to marriage as a "process". Growing up on heavy doses of romantic Hindi and English movies, I was as excited about my marriage as the next guy. There were dreams of finding someone amid picturesque hills and valleys. I always thought I might even do some running around the trees of my own. Unfortunately, in the frantic bid to establish a career and standing on my own feet, a lot of my dreams have met the Grim Reaper; and one of those is that of meeting someone who will steal my heart away, right under my nose.

Anyways, years ago, I gave in to the pressure of my parents that I should allow them to find me a wife. At least, that is what I like to tell myself. But the truth is, between an excrutiatingly busy career and a non existent social life, it has been impossible to meet someone. That is not to say, I have not tried the new internet tools like, or the multitude of other such sites that promise to find you the "one" ; and I have made contact with some eligible femme fatales , but I think most of them are mirages that serve best to keep my hopes of finding a life parter alive but have so far not given me any tangible results.

Earlier, I used to think that this would be an easy thing. Think about it. I am a well educated well settled proud Sikh man in "amreeka". A lot of girls would love to marry me. Well, I was so wrong. Like most FOBs(Fresh off the boat), I had the fatally wrong notion that in the great land of amreeka, I could snap my fingers and get the girl I want . The truth is: women here are so much more demanding than in India. And then,there is the inevitable tag of being a foriegner. And in a post 9/11 world, it certainly does not help if you walk around with a turban and a beard. Now,don't get me wrong. I am very proud of my religion and would not compromise my principles but let us put it this way: looking differently does not help with the ladies.

But,hey what about the ABCDs. Surely, they will understand where I am coming from .Guess what. Most ABCD girls I have met are probably more judgemental than the red necks. And this is true for most Sikh girls as well. Most redblooded ABCD Sikh girls would rather have a nice shining clean shaven man as their knight in shining armour. Men in turban don't tickle their fantasy enough. It does not stop here. One would think that the obnoxious caste system would leave you alone in the great US of A. One would expect that these well educated people would value people over their surnames. But hey,I was wrong again. If you are a non jat, you are on the wrong side of the aisle. No matter, how smart you are or what other merits you have, if you are not a Sidhu or a Sandhu or a Dhaliwal for that matter, boy no jatti is ever gonna look at you. End of story. No ifs,ands or buts sirf jats.

So,my friends,I happen to have a few pluses and a fair share of minuses. And so I decided that it is probably better to let my parents do the hard work. I know it is really tough for them to find me a wife, but hey I tried. What kills me every time I think about it that the whole thing has no spontaniety whatsoever. Dead are the dreams of running into some beautiful and delicate thing and making her my own. Dead alas!

Wake up and smell the chai. So tell me my friends. Grow up and do what your grandfathers and their fathers have done. Get an arranged marriage.

The beginning

I never thought I will ever have the stomach to do this but i guess "never say never". Ok, here it goes. I am one of the countless young indian professionals who has left the homeland to earn a living. I am also one of the countless young Indian guys who is waiting to be tied to the yoke of an "arranged marriage". My parents and I guess,I have been looking for a wife for me for the past two years. This search for a perfect Indian wife has generated some very interesting experiences for me and well, I thought I needed to record those for myself and my friends. Every time,I return from India, I am swamped with questions mostly centered around the eternal question: "Have you found her?". Rather than regurgitating my stories over and over again, I decided to create this blog. Hopefully, this should provide a means of catharsis for me to clear out my system of those sometimes sweet, sometimes sour but always fascinating experiences as well as serve to quench the curiosity of my friends and cousins.