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Sunday, December 25, 2005

Why has this been so hard?

I never thought this whole process would be so hard. You can guess my chagrin when I refer to marriage as a "process". Growing up on heavy doses of romantic Hindi and English movies, I was as excited about my marriage as the next guy. There were dreams of finding someone amid picturesque hills and valleys. I always thought I might even do some running around the trees of my own. Unfortunately, in the frantic bid to establish a career and standing on my own feet, a lot of my dreams have met the Grim Reaper; and one of those is that of meeting someone who will steal my heart away, right under my nose.

Anyways, years ago, I gave in to the pressure of my parents that I should allow them to find me a wife. At least, that is what I like to tell myself. But the truth is, between an excrutiatingly busy career and a non existent social life, it has been impossible to meet someone. That is not to say, I have not tried the new internet tools like Shaadi.com, JeevanSathi.com or the multitude of other such sites that promise to find you the "one" ; and I have made contact with some eligible femme fatales , but I think most of them are mirages that serve best to keep my hopes of finding a life parter alive but have so far not given me any tangible results.

Earlier, I used to think that this would be an easy thing. Think about it. I am a well educated well settled proud Sikh man in "amreeka". A lot of girls would love to marry me. Well, I was so wrong. Like most FOBs(Fresh off the boat), I had the fatally wrong notion that in the great land of amreeka, I could snap my fingers and get the girl I want . The truth is: women here are so much more demanding than in India. And then,there is the inevitable tag of being a foriegner. And in a post 9/11 world, it certainly does not help if you walk around with a turban and a beard. Now,don't get me wrong. I am very proud of my religion and would not compromise my principles but let us put it this way: looking differently does not help with the ladies.

But,hey what about the ABCDs. Surely, they will understand where I am coming from .Guess what. Most ABCD girls I have met are probably more judgemental than the red necks. And this is true for most Sikh girls as well. Most redblooded ABCD Sikh girls would rather have a nice shining clean shaven man as their knight in shining armour. Men in turban don't tickle their fantasy enough. It does not stop here. One would think that the obnoxious caste system would leave you alone in the great US of A. One would expect that these well educated people would value people over their surnames. But hey,I was wrong again. If you are a non jat, you are on the wrong side of the aisle. No matter, how smart you are or what other merits you have, if you are not a Sidhu or a Sandhu or a Dhaliwal for that matter, boy no jatti is ever gonna look at you. End of story. No ifs,ands or buts sirf jats.

So,my friends,I happen to have a few pluses and a fair share of minuses. And so I decided that it is probably better to let my parents do the hard work. I know it is really tough for them to find me a wife, but hey I tried. What kills me every time I think about it that the whole thing has no spontaniety whatsoever. Dead are the dreams of running into some beautiful and delicate thing and making her my own. Dead alas!

Wake up and smell the chai. So tell me my friends. Grow up and do what your grandfathers and their fathers have done. Get an arranged marriage.

5 Comments:

Blogger Puneet Kaur said...

Sat Sri Akal ji

Well ur blog on finding a wife really amuzed me! it does'nt surprize me that girls around the world dont find the 'Turban or the Kes' attractive.and its really sad too for all those Sikhs who've done away with their Kes or Turban, not realizing how they're letting our Gurus sacrifice go vain. On a lighter note, finding a match who suits you perfectly is one of the most difficult tasks & i do wish ur parents n u the very best!

Gurfateh
Puneet kaur

1:33 AM, December 27, 2005  
Blogger Harry Singh said...

Thank you for your encouraging words, Puneet Kaur ji. I do hope to find the girls of my dreams too.

8:23 PM, December 27, 2005  
Anonymous jas said...

What kills me every time I think about it that the whole thing has no spontaniety whatsoever -

ditto. this is taking time, i thought it would happen by itself the moment i take my eyes off books. But god, it doesnt happen (me coming across my lady) :P.

1:32 AM, January 05, 2006  
Blogger balls said...

what's the purpose of marraige? it dosen't work!

5:18 PM, October 22, 2008  
Blogger Beryl said...

Good post..
U just gotta hang in ther and hope u get lucky someday. All the best!

7:12 AM, December 03, 2008  

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