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Friday, October 20, 2006

One Houston year later....

It's almost been a year since I started writing this blog. Almost. I think I have matured somewhat. I do not feel as lonely as I used to. These days, when I get off work, I don't say," WTF" because I will have to go home and stare at my walls and lose myself in a spiral of introspection leading into an abyss with no bottom. So, that is probably a good thing.

I have new insights into who I am and what I am expected to be. My sense of belonging to a community keeps taking a beating every now and then. But my resolve holds on. I still quite haven't changed my mind about Sikh women. The more I think about it, the more I find myself not wanting to marry one. The thought of finding out six months into my marriage that it was all under pressure just scares the daylight out of me. Somehow, I find myself getting distanced from who everybody wants me to be. Some people would think that is not a bad thing. My parents, I am sure, will differ. I feel myself, morphing into someone different. I don't know if that is just normal growth or if it is the effect of the stream of life flowing by me and carving out a newer different me.

For some weird reason, I sometimes still feel that something is missing. I can't quite put a finger on it. But there is this spooky abscence of something in my life. I haven't been able to meditate for some time now and thus not able to search for that elusive entity. But hopefully, I will be able to do that in the near future.

I am in a pensive mood today, thinking about life and stuff. Hopefully, I will write something a little more shinier next time. Here's a little something the Bard wrote that I haven't been able to shake off my mind for the last few days:

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale'
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing...


Anonymous Serena Kaur said...

Nice to see your new post.

8:06 PM, October 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello JI my name is Gillette!
I have been scouting this webiste for the last 3 days. (
I reall liked what I have seen, read here . Sikh women here are so bold, i mean its almost amazing.
I should I guess start putting down what I am looking for. Hmm. its hard and I'm going to sound a little shallow , but I am only looking for Clean shaven sikh women.
Others please dont even bother to reply, contact , blah blah... . I mean after all looks do matter, moreover think about it, you marry someone who is so open about saying that she is a clean shaven sikh women. To be so open about such a detail that too in the sikh community, I mean they have left the west behind. faaaaar behind. I salute them .
I strogly urge all jat, Khatri , ramgariah sikh women to convert to clean shaven sikh women, if they already havent that is..... u know what im saying!

I guess I have to say something about me too.. I basically SUCK! My parents should have named me Dyson, or Hoover
I know ..I know.. all you clean shaven sikh women cant wait ! ..Its like a match made in heaven.
I am waiting for your replies.
** non clean shaven sikh women Please dont reply or try to contact me please***


7:39 PM, October 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon above,

Please rephrase your request: clean shaven women should be rephrased as shaven women (because just by shaving, a person does not become clean), you need to brush your teeth, shampoo your hair, wash your body, keep your cloth clean, and spray some perfume, in order to look and keep clean.

Shaving your head does not make you clean, rather shampooing it makes it clean and shiny.

Thus clean unshaven men/women are as clean as clean shaven men/women.

9:45 PM, October 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell was that about?

8:44 AM, October 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was about a new sects in sikhs which I happened to see , known as clean shaven. Go to shaadi .com and search for sikhs , you will see a new caste: "Clean Shaven" !! I was just having a take on that. I hope people didnt mind it ..... all in good humour.!


10:02 AM, October 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohh By the way that actually is my profile on
My name there is woollymammoth_usa . :-) SUCK part of my profile.. b ,, nyways it still rocks!


10:06 AM, October 23, 2006  
Anonymous serena kaur said...

You folks need lives. Badly. Go recite Jaap Sahib or somethin, naw mean? Gillette & de lagde.

4:31 PM, October 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Serena kaur,
I am almost in love with you,
no seriously ... The tone of ur reply was.. jiddan koi gharre daant marke kisse nu 'Rebuke' kar reha hoye.
Brings back old memories....
Dont get angry, all in good spirit .... ... :-)


4:50 PM, October 24, 2006  
Anonymous serena kaur said...

Gillo, My intent wasn't to make you happy! I just don't like how you're messing up Paji's blog w/ your strange comments.. hor koi kam nahi? Speaking of which, this will be my last comment in this thread=)

11:23 PM, October 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

first of all, stop wasting time with borderline-personalitied, screwed up, psychologically damaged sikh girls that have been born and raised in canada or america.

do youself a favor, and look up 'borderline personality disorder', that will describe 99.9% if sikh/indian chicks that have been or and/or raised in the u.s. and canada.

most of the sikh chicks from the u.s. and canada are absolutely crazy, and are a waste of time. theyre always chasing some stupid pipe dream by going after college degrees, careers, and their dream men. this is mainly because theyre so rediculously insecure with themselves, that they spend their whole lives trying to prove one thing after another, and never being satisfied.

what you need to do is date alot of white/hispanic chicks, have a nice time, gain some confidence, learn about yourself. white/hispanic girls don't have as many hang-ups and insecurities that americanized sikh girls have.

then, after you've matured a bit with relationships, then goto india, and look for your life partner.

there are plenty of crazy sikh women there too, but there are also plenty of even kieled, 'normal' sikh women there, who havent fallen for the hebephrenic, sophomoric, bollywood style idiots. theyre happy to date and marry handsome, confident real sikh men with turbans.

i am a sikh professional too. i was born and raised here, and am proud to be a sikh-american. i had the same problems you did with the opposite sex, but mainly in high school. i dated alot in college and med school. the only women i had trouble dating were these crazy sikh women, who were embarrased to be labelled 'sikh'. it was rediculous, but i learned quickly not to waste my time with them.

like i said, i dated alot, then went back to india, and found my dream woman: a beautiful, tall, gorgeous sikh woman. i have been married for 5 ys, and i dont even know what silly caste she belongs to. before we got married, she told me that if i cut my hair or our future kids' hair, she will divorce me. now thats what i call proud sikh woman!

oh yeah, since ive been married, i've become a fat slob, and i still get hit on by pretty blonde nurses, and still get snubbed by crazy insecure, screwed up sikh women, their 'kara' gives it away, not their non existent unshorn hair!

12:24 AM, October 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sardars are Hot!

1:49 AM, November 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

here here

8:35 AM, November 03, 2006  
Anonymous Simran Jeet Singh said...


I can relate to this blog! It is honest, humorous at times, and not so optimisitic at others. I am in the similar boat: Single Singh, singing along...
Anyways, I wanted to share something refreshing as far as FINDING THE WIFE subject is concerned.

One of my friends, Hans, married a Gujarati(born in Hindu family) girl that he had known for 2-3 years in college.

Knowing him and much he values his relationship with Gurus I asked him how did it happen. I was very interested since, it is almost impossible to find real Sikh girl in Southern California. I commented further by saying I thought I knew every known Sardarni our age in So-Cal when I was at UC Irvine.

Hans smiled & said "Born in a family that calls itself Sikh, does not make the so called Sikh girls value what the 10 Gurus gave them." He said that he looked for a good human being first. Both of them were just friends for a year & a half first. They friendship became much deeper and they ended up dating.

He felt the qualities that he wanted in a spouse to be there in this girl( who was born in a Gujarati Hindu family) and wanted to share the Guru's love with her. He shared a bit and she got interested in Gurbani. Rest is history.

I saw their pictures from the Honeymoon and the Girl had her head covered. I commented that did not expect to see her head covered an he said that "Sardar & Sardarni alike are to keep their heads covered because they belong to the Gurus. She is a Sardarni."

Once she got interested in Gurbahi which is filled with love, longing... She read a bunch more herself and both of them decided that they wanted to be of the Gurus'.

Maybe we should look out side the []. What do you think?

4:19 PM, November 10, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I've only read a few of your blogs; But I can say that there is a lot with sikh girls that sikh guys don't understand; As a sikh girl raised religiously, it's almost heart-breaking to be told by your mothers don't take amrit yet because your future husband might not like it; then you sit and wonder why that's the case; And as you grow up you get it; Guys don't like girls that don't have legs as smooth as a fashion models or ridiculously thin eyebrows; Even in conservative Sikh communities, there is an acceptance for sikh guys who choose to follow their religion with their heart; But when a sikh girl wants to do that it's not accepted; Point blank, it's sexy for a sikh guy to be amrithari; How many sikh girls are taught to follow the same thing?

I'm a sikh girl who finds myself fighting tears sometimes because I very often wonder what the chances are of finding a sikh guy who looks beyond those physical elements and into my personality; I haven't dated or even kissed a guy because that's not important for me right now; Eventually I'd like to be with someone who can look at me and say I waited forever for you and I love every thought you have and I love you for being you and not Heidi Klum; the point is that as much as sikh guys say "oh I want a religious sikh girl," but in reality they want a clean shaven one; At that rate, they are being hypocritical; And that is the thing that has hurt me; At that rate, I would rather be walking out the door in a miniskirt with some white guy; At least he will like me for who I am a that moment and not criticize me;

The problem is that sikh girls believe in romance, even if they are religious; We believe that there will be a prince charming coming to us and telling us that we are perfect; We don't want to be put down;

I don't know what other bloggers have said, but I would give anything to be with a sikh guy who has a turban; There a good number of sikh girls who don't do anything before they get married; But by doing that, they are expecting a lot in return; they want to remain alone because when they finally find someone it has to be special; I don't know how much sikh guys realize this fact;

Sikh girls aren't shallow; rather any sikh girl who is religious is probably mature and able to look past things that are shallow; I'm a college senior at an ivy league school and there are tons of guys that I find hot physically or because of there personality; However, nothing would be more attractive than being with a sikh guy--someone I can look at and say I waited this long because you are the only person I can every be with; I know I could easily date or be with a non-sikh guy;

Sikh girls are amazing and most of them work hard because they want to change the world; They are mature and motivated and many are willing to hold out so long because they want to be with someone who makes them feel special; It's not easy being that girl who won't date guys in college even though you might be beautiful, attractive and have a good personality; In not dating, you give up on a lot and it's a complicated prcoess that people don't give a damn about; I never realized how hard it was in college, except when I looked at my non-sikh friends who dated; They always had someone there for them who cared at every moment of the day; So not dating for me meant that I had to go through the tough times alone; Yes sikh girls expect someone amazing;

If you really are looking as hard as you seem to suggest, I am sure you will find someone soon; Just remember that sikh girls are there; They just don't want to be criticized and made to be like nuns; We are dynamic, unprocessed (like girls that wear 5000 lbs of makeup) and highly motivated; We give up a lot because we want to be with a sikh guy who is religious and doesn't fool around; And we expect a lot from anyone we would want to be our future husbands

if you were a girl wouldn't you want the same thing?

Good luck!

11:29 PM, November 10, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally feel that. i'm a girl from canada going to a top uni here and you know that is the exact same thing that I think of. Sikh gils are misunderstanded and are expected to be this and that. Thanks for posting that comment because that's exactly what I go through.

10:21 AM, November 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two anons above,

I am a sikh guy and I haven't dated anyone. I am a lawyer in Canada. Are you rady to date me ?Why don't we hook up and date, we all are available ?

10:51 PM, November 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks Mr. Anon,
Real nice of you to offer but I doubt you'll wanna date a 4th yr student.
Ms Anon #2

7:32 AM, November 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 2,

Love will admit no barrier of age caste, creed, colour, or class because if we create barriers to love, we create a recipe of our own disaster.

So let love's butterfly flutter freely in God's garden of diversity, let her choose the best of the best flower, she has the right to choose ONLY the best of the best.

12:20 AM, November 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thats real sweet. In other words are you trying to say that you are the "best of the best"
Ms Anon #2

9:54 AM, November 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think he thinks he is.... Keep up the good blog Harry!!

11:20 AM, November 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When we take Amrit Guruji takes care of us. We have Guruji loving and caring for us. This love is beyond that of what a man could give. Remember, that Guruji will find us someone. There is no need for us to worry.

It is so easy for us as woman to want to cut our hair or even feel that we are not beautiful because we are not following societie's definition of what beautiful is. cut hair, perfect figure etc. But the best piece of advice that someone gave me was that we can't live our lives for other people. In the end its our relationship with God. Hence, I might not follow social norms but Guruji gave us all woman and men a crown to wear on our heads in the form of a dastaar which we wear on uncut beautiful hair. It is our relationship with God that matters in the end.

9:23 PM, November 23, 2006  
Blogger Pawandeep said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:59 PM, December 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please don't generalize about Sikh women everywhere in the world. Please don't categorize Sikh women into the usual roles i.e. the traditionalist with her long flowing hair, the wild Sikhni raised in the US... There are a lot of thinking Sikh women out there who are holding on to their Sikhi in this so called 'real' world. I hope you come across one! Sometime ago, I thought I'd never find the right guy who I'd really want to go through an 'anand karaj' with. But I've found him, and we try, each day, to make each other better Sikhs., so don't give up hope! Besides, there are loads of Sikh women in Thailand who'd love to meet ya!

10:41 PM, January 22, 2007  

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