Rest in Peace
It was a busy weekend for me. I cooked, I ran and I did some other things. But most importantly, I dug out a grave. A grave for my dreams and some fascinating memories. Yeah, yeah. C broke up with me. I had been expecting it for two weeks now. It was clear (to both of us but mostly to her) that despite our best efforts, we did not have that chemistry( or "connect" , as she put it) between us that could sustain a happy longterm relationship. We just happen to belong to two very different worlds. As Mary Bilge put it:"Chemistry was crazy from the get-go".
O boy! I had thought that having been through almost two break-ups before, this one would be a little easier on me. But it feels the same. It feels like someone just slapped two electrodes on my scalp, thrust a piece of cloth in my mouth so that I couldn't scream and pushed the lever down making 1000 volts of electricity run through me. Sure, I didn't scream and there was no surface damage but somewhere deep inside my heart, a lot of fragile emotions and feelings melted and died a painful death.
No,overall it was a cordial thing. There was no screaming or pulling of hair. We both kind of knew it was coming.
We have agreed to remain friends and we will have to see how it goes.
C gave me a lot in these last three months. She was an answer to my prayers. I don't know how true or untrue her affections were but she touched my life in more ways than she could imagine. There are a lot of happy memories. Memories of her kicking my ass in miniature golf, memories of her bringing that bowl of CTM, memories of the smiley face that she drew on her every note. Little things that were peculiar to her and little things she did for me. I will miss holding her in my arms as much as I will miss her dulcous voice saying my name. I will cherish the memories of her saying her first Namaste and Sat Shri Akal. The memories of these three months will forever be safe in a corner of my left atrial appendage. Every now and then, my heart will fibrillate and small emboli of those memories will travel from my heart to my brain sending shivers down my mortal body and causing intense pain. But that is my fate.
The epitaph shall read this:"Here in rest the memories of the best three months of Harry Singh's life. Memories that were God's gift to him for good deeds done in a past life. Times will change and Harry will grow old. But the thought of these memories will continue to give him a gleam in his eye and a smile on his wrinkled face."
C, you are a special person and I hope you know that. To me, you will remain, forever precious.
O boy! I had thought that having been through almost two break-ups before, this one would be a little easier on me. But it feels the same. It feels like someone just slapped two electrodes on my scalp, thrust a piece of cloth in my mouth so that I couldn't scream and pushed the lever down making 1000 volts of electricity run through me. Sure, I didn't scream and there was no surface damage but somewhere deep inside my heart, a lot of fragile emotions and feelings melted and died a painful death.
No,overall it was a cordial thing. There was no screaming or pulling of hair. We both kind of knew it was coming.
We have agreed to remain friends and we will have to see how it goes.
C gave me a lot in these last three months. She was an answer to my prayers. I don't know how true or untrue her affections were but she touched my life in more ways than she could imagine. There are a lot of happy memories. Memories of her kicking my ass in miniature golf, memories of her bringing that bowl of CTM, memories of the smiley face that she drew on her every note. Little things that were peculiar to her and little things she did for me. I will miss holding her in my arms as much as I will miss her dulcous voice saying my name. I will cherish the memories of her saying her first Namaste and Sat Shri Akal. The memories of these three months will forever be safe in a corner of my left atrial appendage. Every now and then, my heart will fibrillate and small emboli of those memories will travel from my heart to my brain sending shivers down my mortal body and causing intense pain. But that is my fate.
The epitaph shall read this:"Here in rest the memories of the best three months of Harry Singh's life. Memories that were God's gift to him for good deeds done in a past life. Times will change and Harry will grow old. But the thought of these memories will continue to give him a gleam in his eye and a smile on his wrinkled face."
C, you are a special person and I hope you know that. To me, you will remain, forever precious.
posted by harry singh at 9:49 PM
41 Comments:
Dear Harry,
sorry to hear that you and C are no longer together :(. However I do hope that your injured myocardium will heal soon and that the emboli lodged somewhere in your cerebral arteries will be TPA'd away. Stay away from pain-(and heart-ache)relieving morphine though-as you know it gives you headache and even worse, constipation.
start looking for a sikh girl now. and DONT go to sikhmatrimonials, only jatts there. try hindustan times.
Sat Shri Akal!
Please cherish her memory.
There must be a reason why this has happened, a reason that we humans will not understand.
Waheguru will not let you down. Happiness will come again!
Wishing you all the best.
Veer Harry,
I have been reading your blog for a while and I must say that I truly enjoy reading your and everyone else’s point of view. I hate to start my first comment on your blog by saying sorry to hear about you and C, but I guess it’s true that good things don’t last very long. I say this because I went through a similar scenario a few weeks ago. A girl that I liked and was talking to for a while was not interested in me for reasons I still don’t know and understand. It could be the issue you have raised on this blog or it could be something else. The problem is that I don’t know what it is and that my friend, is an even greater pain than what you are baring (in my opinion!). But unlike you, I am Mr. Optimistic. I think of it as “not meant to be” and I am happy for the time and thoughts she and I shared. I have taken all the good I learned from her and I intend to use it to make me a better person overall. So Harry, I know that it’s going to take a while for you to get over C, but chin up tiger, where there is a will, there is a way.
Superman Singh
I am sorry harry. I know how much she meant to you.
No Offense but what can I say...
I'm happy that she broke up with you. Not that I never wanted you to be happy but it's because I wanted to be with you.
nah. harry aint gay.
now what???
I would recomend Harry to try another white woman for the following reasons. Do not go near a Sikh woman. Let them masterbate or get sexual satisfaction from Kale, chine or Gore.
I wear a turban and I keep my beard flowing. I have been humiliated/rejected by uncountable Sikh girls because of my Sikh appearance, but I have been accepted by a couple of extremely beautiful Sikh women also(who had a hair cut) and recently I got accepeted by a white woman who is also fairly beautiful and sexy.
This white blond woman likes my beard so much that she always runs her fingers through it, the beard our Sikh women hate as filth; The blond says I like the smell of your body, and you are my Maharaja. It looks like God has sent me a king from the heaven.
Harry is an annonymous writer. No body knows his exact location or his name etc, so am I an anonymous writer. But UNLIKE Harry I will admit that I had sex with this white woman which was not successful as I am new in this game. Despite these failures she loves me. She is preety, so she could have sex with anyone else, but she is so attracted to me that she is unable to quit. The message for Harry is that he may have skipped the sex part in his story, but I am admitting it to let him know that good chemistry has nothing to do with success of a relation. It is the complete package that a woman considers before breaking or making a relation. The complete package includes face, physique, strength, confidence, character and education. This package is looked upon by a woman with her own unique imagination, so it is her imagination that give colour to the whole package, its not a man's own ability, but its the interaction of his ability with a woman's imagination that produces results. In my example, the blond woman's imagination that bearded men with turban look like a king played a part; and my own confidence, character and tremendous physical strength played their part to bring about the climax.
I don't know what has gone wrong with Sikh women, why they hate men with beard ? So Harry don't go near Sikh women, hate them as they hate your folded beard. Let them masterbate.
Like you mentioned Harry you've had 3 relationships all failed. Do you think it was because of your looks ? Certainly not. Perhap you need to focus on your personality a bit more. You know they say that when a person look hard enough he does not find. Perhaps you reak of desperation to find someone. Notice how the women have stopped commenting too.
Half knowledge is a dangerous thing. See it to believe it.
1. Chemitry is not = to sex in my book. That is both literally and figuratively speaking
2. The only other breakups I have had have been with C.And I said 2.5 not 3.
I would appreciate if people stick to cannons of civility and refrain from uncouth language. Thanks.
"I would recomend Harry to try another white woman for the following reasons. Do not go near a Sikh woman. Let them masterbate or get sexual satisfaction from Kale, chine or Gore."
I have so much to say about this paticular comment. This is the most sexist remark I had ever heard in my life. What do you think women are some commodity that you say Harry need to "try" another white woman.
I had very favorable opinion about Sikh men before I read your comment and start visitng this blog. Now, I think I should reconsider my opinion.
I can clearly see why some Sikh women stay from guys like you.
That is not just sexist but racist as well. Deplorable to say the least.
"try other white women"
disgusting.
I have no time to Watch T.V , as I freakin work a lot!!
But I still get my Soap Opera entertainment .. Harry ur Blog is a Soap opera .. I guess a New season just started ... :-)) with the departure of C ...
I am sorry about it ,, but its an Angle mein Tangle.. brings this blog back to life :D
OAS
This is to clarify that "try other white women" means "try relationship with other white women" which includes but not limited to sex only; it never meant "try sex with white women" in the context of the discussion of the post; by the way it clearly meant do not go near Sikh women who have humiliated many a Harry's turban and beard; humilated gurus and their own culture so much that it compelled him to start this blog.
Then what is chemistry in your book annonymous Harry ? Explain.
If there is no chemistry, then there is no biological compatibility/acceptence between the partners. Chemistry has only physical content unless you want to add anything to it from your imagination.
When people talk of chemistry , they also talk of "we do not click" sexually, for they prefer to be friends rather than intimate partners.
Furthermore, Mr. Anonymous "Sikh" who thinks Harry should "try white women," have you considered whether sex outside of marriage is a "Sikh" thing to do???? How about the Rehit Maryada which I assume is the reason you keep your hair... it's the biggest hypocricy I've heard on this blog so far!!! The Rehit also demands we control our sexual desires and restrict them to marriage, does it not? You keep your beard long, and *claim* to be a Sikh, and yet you're advocating "trying" sex out on different sorts of women? I am a Sikh woman, and I can tell you that sex outside of a marriage relationship doesn't fit the same code of conduct you supposedly and self-righteously claim we Sikh women should follow by respecting the turban and beard. Do you think, for even one instance, Guru Gobind Singh, who had Sikh *women* in his army, would approve of your disrespect of these same women? Or discussion of "sex" with them?
Masturbate indeed! Seems like a better prospect than getting involved with a man who claims to take the Sikh form, but who is not exhibiting the basic qualities of a Sikh person.
Anon who says -
"Furthermore, Mr. Anonymous "Sikh" who thinks Harry should "try white women," have you considered whether sex outside of marriage is a "Sikh" thing to do???? How about the Rehit Maryada which I assume is the reason you keep your hair... it's the biggest hypocricy I've heard on this blog so far!!!"
I agree with you 100% and now I want that Anon "SIKH" ( who saidHarry don't go near Sikh women) to apologize for his remarks. Isn't it ironic he criticizes women when himself is so far from being SIKH.
“I would recomend Harry to try another white woman for the following reasons.”
First of all, I don’t think this guy is a Sikh to begin with. He first declares that he is a good Sikh who maintains his turban and beard but then tells his tales of being with a white woman and how many Sikh women have rejected him. IF he is truly a Sikh then I want to ask him, have you ever thought that maybe it’s not your appearance they don’t like but maybe it’s your attitude? Also, I want to make one thing clear that not all Sikh men with turbans and beards are sexist like this guy here. He is wrong on his views of ALL women at so many levels, that I find it hard to believe that he is a Gursikh. I agree that there are Sikh girls out there who don’t want to be with a Sikh guy for one reason or another, but the Sikh girls who DO want to be with a Sikh guy outnumber those girls by a huge mark. I think that it is truly a matter of “sanjog”. You just have to keep looking for the “right one” and if your heart is pure and your mind is clear, one day you will find that special someone. So keep looking and visiting good old Harry’s blog but don’t mind this guy, he has a lot to learn about women and life in general.
Superman Singh
So much hatred and mistrust..within sikhs.
Supplant hatred with love. Try to understand each others point of view. Why do girls want clean shaven guys? Why do you get angry at such a demand?
Think: the sikh girl you are hating also has the same needs, aspirations, and desires as you.
The turbaned guys also have the dreams, they also want a desirable partner.
When you will think in these terms, all the preconcieved notions will melt away, you will see a person as a person, and you will understand why they are doing. You will no longer hate them.
There will be peace.
This is in response to SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE ISSUE. RE:"Furthermore, Mr. Anonymous "Sikh" who thinks Harry should "try white women":
Yes sex outside of marriage is ABSOLUTELY AND UNAMBIGUOUSLY CONSISTENT WITH GURBANI, if marriage is delayed for career goals, education or other circumstances.
Most importantly, sex is allowed in SIKHISM before marriage if you are in love with someone and you intend to marry someone and the marriage is delayed for educational and other goals, provided also you are adult and provided further that the woman belongs to none other, but you presently ,( not in the future).
People used to get married at the age of 16 or 18 in the times of gurus, so the sex was allowed at that age, because all people were required to have was an inherited piece of land or a family business to establish and support a family.
But in our age, with the advancement of sciences and technologies, it is not possible to support a family at the age of 16 or 18 generally, so the marriage is delayed for educational reasons and the average marriage age for men is over 30 now. Most educated men marry in early or late 30's. It is not possible to get married at the age of 16 or 18 now, the times have changed.
NO where in the gurbani is it written that a person should not have sex outside marriage. ABSOLUTELY NO WHERE. The support for these claims is found in the following gurbani sermon:
"NIJ NARI KE SATH NEH TUM NIT BADEYOH, PAR NIRI KI SEZ BHUL SUPNE HU NA JAYEOH"
(With your own woman, you enjoy plenty of love every day, but with other's woman you will not share bed even in your dream)
The use of "NIJ NARI" in gurbani has been grossly misinterpreted to mean "WIFE" when it CLEARLY AND UNAMBIGUOUSLY means "your own woman “ (be it a wife or otherwise a friend)
and "PAR NARI" means "a woman who belongs to other person".
There is no mention of the word "WIFE OR PATNEE" here. If guru ji wanted to use PATNEE, he could use, he had access to this word, but he was so foresighted that he used the broad word "NARI" to fit in all ages, times and circumstances. HE knew there would be times when marriage could be delayed for various reasons, so he deliberately chose the word "NARI" instead of "PATNEE".
If you argue that only marriage makes a woman your NIJ NARI, you are wrong. After marriage break down, the woman is gone. How can she be your own woman then. How can marriage make a woman your own permanently? Similarly, a girl friend whom you intend to marry is your own, but you delay marriage until you are able to support a family. Just as there is no guarantee that a married woman wife will be divorce proof, so there is no guarantee that a girl friend whom you intend to marry will be break-proof. Thus guru ji used the word “NARI” alone for the purpose of love making, and The term “Nari” captures nari wives also, but is not limited to wife alone, it includes those friends also that are your own and belong to none presently.
For these reasons guru ji used NIJ NARI, a woman that belongs to you; a woman who does not belong to other person; in modern terminology, a woman who is your girl friend, a common law legal relation and not other person's woman; guru ji has not used NIJ PATNEE here, so don't add your OWN word WIFE in this phrase.
We accept the "great principle" of gurbani that a person should have sex at a mature age (16 or 18) and we have it established and written in all STATE laws that a minor cannot have sex, but an adult can have sex. Its ABSOLUTELY LEGAL to have sex at an adult age in all western and other advanced societies.
Those who have made various rehitnamas are not better educated than us to dictate us or interpret gurbani for us. Most of the times each rehitnama contradicts the other rehitnama. So its better to understand gurbani by your own wisdom. Gurbani is for everyone, not only for PUNDITS exclusively or Granthis alone to interprete (only pundits were authorized to read and interprete VEDA's, such is not the case in Sikhism which abolished monopoly of Brahmins to worship and accepted worship by the “Shudras” , the lower class)
There is no prohibition on sex in Sikhism, for prohibition would give birth to bestiality (sex with animals), masturbation, homosexuality, rapes and diseases like AIDS. This has been proven sociologically and scientifically that in societies that prohibit sex in adult years, these tendencies are found in good measure.
Sex is good for health also. Scientifically sexually active people have less decease. Thats why gurbani also says "with your own woman, you enjoy AND INCREASE LOVE EVERY DAY. Watch gurbani uses the broad word love to mean romance and sex and watch also that it asks us to increase love and it asks us to love "each day".
There is no sense in fighting against nature and hormones, you cannot defeat nature and the assault of hormones.
BRIEF:
Sex is allowed in SIKHISM before marriage under the following conditions:
if you are in love with someone and you intend to marry someone and the marriage is delayed for educational and other circumstances, provided also you are adult and provided further that the woman belongs to none other.
Harry, I maintain, do not go near Sikh women who have humiliated many a Harry's turban and beard; humiliated gurus and their own culture so much that it compelled him to start this blog.
Hate them as they hate your turbaned and bearded existance; the natural manly existance.
Love those adorable women only--be they Indian or western-- who adore your natural manly and kingly existance. Since most Sikh women hate turban and beards more than the Massa Rangar and Orangzeb, the converters of Sikhs to Islam by torture, hate them as they hate your turban and beard (These So called Self proclaimed Sikh women are coverting Sikh men to abandon Sikhi more than Orangzeb had coverted by torture), so go for white women who honour your existance as a Sikh men and do not go near a sikh woman who dishonour gurus and their turban wearing bearded Sikhs by asking them to remove turban and shave beard as soon as AnandKaraz is over.
bloody logic twisters!
Sex is allowed in SIKHISM before marriage under the following conditions:
if you are in love with someone and you intend to marry someone and the marriage is delayed for educational and other circumstances, provided also you are adult and provided further that the woman belongs to none other.
"If you argue that only marriage makes a woman your NIJ NARI, you are wrong. After marriage break down, the woman is gone. How can she be your own woman then. How can marriage make a woman your own permanently? "
This comment is also very sexist. " Make a woman your own permanently" what kind of crap is that- A Sikh Woman is always a "Kaur"- never dare to forget that.
To the anon above:
Owls stop seeing when the Sun rises (Jadon din Charda Hai ta Ulluu nu Dikhna Band Ho janda hai)
For an idiot, this type of analytical logic is beyond comprehension. Ullu can never see in the broad daylight, so its impossible for you to see or understand the chain of reasoning contained in the comment.
Anon Above
Only one ulluu can notice another ulluu.
Anon Above,
Humans can also notice Ullu; all animals can also distinguish between an Ullu and a Falcon; all birds can also know the difference between an Ullu and a sparrow. So not only ullus but all species can notice and distinguish between an ullu and other species.
Therefore your claim that ONLY an Ullu can notice an Ullu has no basis in realty. Hence you have proven for yourself that you are an absolute IDIOT in addition to being an ULLU. Only an Idiot would make such a claim that ONLY AN ULLU CAN NOTICE AN ULLU.
Above Anon
You are most intelligent man/woman I have met on this cyberspace. Is your ego all bolstered now?
Anon above,
You are the most beautiful woman who has humbled down to truth on this cyberspace.
I salute your humility. I kiss the lily hand that expressed humility, for humility is a rare merchandize on this cyberspace !
Most intelligent man (according to you)
Anon Above
I am neither beautiful nor humble.
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥
ਕਵਨ ਗੁਨ ਪ੍ਰਾਨਪਤਿ ਮਿਲਉ ਮੇਰੀ ਮਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਰੂਪ ਹੀਨ ਬੁਧਿ ਬਲ ਹੀਨੀ ਮੋਹਿ ਪਰਦੇਸਨਿ ਦੂਰ ਤੇ ਆਈ ॥੧॥
ਨਾਹਿਨ ਦਰਬੁ ਨ ਜੋਬਨ ਮਾਤੀ ਮੋਹਿ ਅਨਾਥ ਕੀ ਕਰਹੁ ਸਮਾਈ ॥੨॥
ਖੋਜਤ ਖੋਜਤ ਭਈ ਬੈਰਾਗਨਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਦਰਸਨ ਕਉ ਹਉ ਫਿਰਤ ਤਿਸਾਈ ॥੩॥
ਦੀਨ ਦਇਆਲ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾਲ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਨਾਨਕ ਸਾਧਸੰਗਿ ਮੇਰੀ ਜਲਨਿ ਬੁਝਾਈ ॥੪॥੧॥੧੧੮॥
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:
By what virtues can I meet the Lord of life, O my mother? ||1||Pause
I have no beauty, understanding or strength; I am a stranger, from far away. ||1||
I am not wealthy or youthful. I am an orphan - please, unite me with Yourself. ||2||
Searching and searching, I have become a renunciate, free of desire. I wander around, searching for the Blessed Vision of God's Darshan. ||3||
God is Compassionate, and Merciful to the meek; O Nanak, in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, the fire of desire has been quenched. ||4||1||118||
Anon Above,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HUMBLE BECAUSE YOU SEEK AND SERVE GOD.
You seek God, but God resides in me , in you , in everyone. Seek God in others, serve others, love others and they will accept you because Love is beautiful, serving others makes you humble.
IF YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS AND SERVE OTHERS, THEN YOU ARE BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND HUMBLE .
Anon Above
Hopefully, One day I will become humble by reflecting on these sweet words with every breath I take.
O Friend, if you posses fine intellect,
Do not blacken the record of anyone (by looking for their mistakes)
Bow your head, and look for the shortcomings within. - Saint Farid.
Let truth be the strict norm of all you think and do,
so that your pain and anxiety may go and all-felicity come to you,
Always cognise the near presence of God, through the practice of the Name,
Avoid hurt or injury to any sentient being so that peace may come to your mind,
Be humble by helping and serving those afflicted with misery and want so as to achieve God-consciousness
Nanak testifies that God is the exalter of the fallen and lowly.
Anon above,
You quoted the following:
O Friend, if you posses fine intellect,
Do not blacken the record of anyone (by looking for their mistakes)
Bow your head, and look for the shortcomings within. - Saint Farid.
Okay if you are Akal-Latif (intelligent), then why did you made the following allegations against the other in your posting:
"bloody logic twisters!
....what kind of crap is that-"
BUT I think you were right to criticize, and I was also right to oppose criticism by expressing my viewpoint. In my view, Farid's principle does not mean one cannot criticize a person for launching the above unsupported allegations.
Farid's dosctrine applies where a person is not merely criticizing other's mistake , but he/she is blackening and tarnishing the reputation of the other by slander and back-biting. Rather than blackening the reputation of others one should look at one's own mistakes.
Therefore Farid's principle does not capture debate or critical review of others. Farid's doctrine does capture blackening and tarnishing one's reputation by slandering and publishing opponents' mistakes.
Thus, debate is permitted. Correction of error is benificial for the mistaker. So, criticizing the author of the above unsubstantiated remarks was consistent with the following PRINCIPLE:
Hamre Dusht Sabeh Tum Ghawoh...and
Sab Beren Ko Aaj Sanghreyai (10th Guru).
Just as brave people can repel enemies, so the intelligent people may repel and destroy the unsupported arguments and allegations in self-defense.
Above Anon
I never made following comment.
"bloody logic twisters!
....what kind of crap is that-"
I never use such words ( I have many shortcoming and I try stay away from using such language)Also, I don't think I am Akal- Latif ( intelligent). Who I am to judge if I am intelligent or not or the other person is intelligent or not? All I know is that we ought to treat others very well.
He is attained not by cleverness, learning and feats of intellect;
Through love, humility and devotion may He be attained -Guru Nanak, p436
See comment #12 and 13 from the bottom, there u made those comments that you now disown.
Okay, if you are not Akal-Latif, even then you should be even more careful not to blacken other's reputation by slander. But you have not blackened anyone's reputation by merely critisizing a comment or mistake. It needs more than mere critisizism to BLACKEN the reputation, which includes slander and serious false allegations.
I have not claimed that cleaverness will bring one near God. But one needs cleaverness and intellect to to serve and protect others: Deen Bandhu Dushtan Ke hanta, Tum ho puri Chatar (cleaverness) Daskanta (10th Guru).
One cannot achieve God by wealth, but one needs wealth to survive and norish their offsprings.
Therefore wealth and intellect are necessary aspects of life. Wealth/intellect and morality together work to bring one closer to God becasue morality will never ordain to forsake one's childern's norishment.
Neither wealth/intellect alone nor morality alone can bring one closer to God. One needs both SEVA and Simaran to come closer to God.
Anon Above
Yes I made comment #13 but I never made comment #12. If you want to believe me good if you don't there is nothing I can do about it. We all create our own realities in life and that is all right with me.
I don't know why I would like to fight ego fights on cyberspace. I was wrong with what I said (#13- why I said is totally different story) and I realize it. Sometimes in life we all have very bad experiences and anything that resembles it even in slight way tends to bring back memories. So after contemplating on gurubani I am saying - yes I made a mistake and overanalyzed a sentence (because of a personal experience).
I say you are right - hope that makes you feel better about my negative comment. Life is short and it not worth fighting over who is right and who is wrong.
In the end it is not my wealth and intellect that heals my untouchable wound, heals sliced open soul, and brings closer to being free. It is only through love, humility, and devotion I will be able to understand when others are in deep pain and he/she hurt me because he/she was hurt too.
If wealth and intellect do not bring one closer to GOd, then Are wealth and intellect prohibited in gurbani?
Are only love, humility and devotion permitted in gurbani?
I do not agree (Kamavandiyan sukh bhunch, dhiyanvandiyan to parbhu mil, nanak utri chint). Wealth must be earned to enjoy pleasures according to this verse)
I think you take everything in gurbani in absolute terms. e.g. if Anger (karodh) is prohibited, then it is prohibited in all circumstances. If sex (kam is prohibited then sex is prohibited in all circumstances.
You got to look at other gurbani verses where Krodh and Kam is permitted and then decide in which circumstances it is permitted. Krodh is necessary for self defense, or for a defense of a rape victim.
Similarly, Kam is necessary for reproduction, but it is not permitted as an instrument of exploitation of women and adultery.
Thus, just because wealth and intellect do not bring one closer to God, does not mean that pursuit of wealth and intellect are absolutely prohibited in gurbani. Aurat iman, dolat gujran and putar nishan (gurbani).
In short you got to be careful not to interpret gurbani in ABSOLUTE TERMS. Interpret gurbani as a whole, not merely one verse in absolute terms (That would be a FLAW).
(By the way, you have raised issues that are not relevant to the issue of this marriage blog. We have gone enough out of the topic of discussion)
"I think you take everything in gurbani in absolute terms."
I don't take everything in Gurubanin in absolute terms. I just think it is very important to be humble to understand others. Humility, love, and forgivneesss is more important than wealth and intellect. Just watched a documentary on Rawanda genocide ( History behind the rift between two groups) and the take away point was that economy and forgiveness are bottomline issues.
anon above,
I agree
Harry,
This is the first time I looked at your blog. You have a good writing style so it's an easy read. Let me just make one comment. I am a sikh girl who doesn't want to settle for anyone else but a sikh boy and to have a turbaned guy would be a dream come true for me. Let me just say that us girls sometimes like to say that turbaned boys tend to be too ego-centeric. I have consistantly noticed that and am getting very discouraged that I would ever find a guy with turban with mannerism that is acceptable to me. I still haven't given up hope and believe that guy might exist but let's see.
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