A Glass half full

Here is a rare opportunity for you guys to witness the rare utterance of positive words from a guy who is usually fixated at the empty half of the glass. I am a physican. I work with people all day long and hence I deal with their preconceptions, their judgements and their notions about somebody who looks so different than them. The other day, one of my patients told me this. She told me that the first time she ever saw me in the hospital, she told her mom that she hoped that I would not be her doctor. She did not tell me why she thought so but I and most of you can guess why. However, as fate would have it, I was assigned to take care of her. Now, after I have been taking care of her for the past six months, she told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her. She told me other nice things about me and basically made my day.

The objective of this side-story is not for me to blow my trumpet or to tell you how special I am. That is already a well known fact. Just kidding. The point I am trying to make is when people judge other people merely on the basis of their looks or other superficial attributes, there is scope for much errror. I don't blame her for prejudging me. I mean look at me. Here I am, a guy with a beard and a turban in a post 9/11 world. I don't look anything like she had ever seen in her life and she was put in a situation where she was asked to put her life in the hands of a guy that looked wierd( to her). So, even though I am partly hurt (as I don't know how many other of my patients have thought like that about me), yet I can't complain because in the end she recognized the fact that I cared about her. Compare this to the other scenario. One of my non-Indian friends asked me almost in disbelief that how it was possible for me to find a non-Sikh non Indian girl to be by my side when Sikh girls (well, a whole lot of them) had even refused to me. It was hard for me to explain to him because even I don't understand it. True, my efforts had mostly utilized online matrimonial services but whatever. It is amply clear that Sikh women have similar or even worse preconceptions and prejudgements about turbaned guys as non Sikhs.

I am proud of my religion. Every weekend, I look forward to going to the Gurudwara because sitting there listening to the kirtan gives me the same pleasure i had when I lay in my mother's lap as a kid. Every time I bow before my Guru, I feel the loving hand of my Father tap me on my back. I meet other Sikh people and they all seem nice and friendly. I feel accepted and at home. But the moment I step out, everything changes. There is this dichotomy that I don't understand. Sikh women and Sikh guys who not only proudly choose to give up on their identities but ridicule those who don't. "Only clean-shaven JSM respond" is the predominant requirement. Everything else is secondary. The above story however is ample proof that if only people would take the time out to know somebody before dismissing them, they would know that most of their pre-conceived notions were so wrong. If only Sikh women would put in that effort, would they find out that guys they were dismissing as trash might actually be a piece of uncut diamond. Topaz can mimick trash sometimes.

Anyways, I have harped on this tune forever. I have cried myself hoarse but I don't know if it really matters. It is an eternal fight. People will always prejudge people like me and at every step of life, we have to fight against those opinions. The only thing that bugs me is: " Why do we have to do that with the people that are our own and who should have understood us better?"