Born to Cry
I was born crying. It is in my genes. What can I do?. The only time a woman called me cute was the nurse( who helped pull the curtains and introduced me to the world) who told my mom that I was a cute boy. Even that is hearsay. I know it only because my mom told me so. Until now. C, when she is in a good mood, tells me that I am cute. I hope she means it. Anyways, this is all in response to my friend's comment that maybe I should shut my trap now that I am with somebody. I wish it were that simple. I have had plenty of reasons not to stop crying. Now, I have found a special lady but until I find a wife (or she becomes one), the blog shall live.
One of the people in the comments section proclaims that I am a "stupid idiot" because I write about the ladies and love. Well, that is only partly accurate. I write about ladies who don't give a fair chance to guys like me. Whatever. I have been down this route so many times that I am flagged and tired of talking about it. I love to write. I have written short stories all my life and now I write a blog!. What can I do? And I write about what I see. Sikh kids smoking cigarettes even as the tattoo of a khanda glistens on their backs, Sikh ladies who are too haughty and too cool to look at a turbaned guy as they sip on their margaritas and Sikh lads who don the turban when they accompany their parents to the Gurudwara yet are only too quick to take it off and show off their neat crew-cut in da club. What are you talking about? That is hot stuff to write about. It is the story of our lifetimes which is unfolding before our own eyes. Makes you wonder about a lot of things.
The other thing that caught my attention was a young missy talking about how she feels discriminated by turbaned guys because she cuts her hair. I must admit that this is the first of its kind. I am sorry if it is really true. I am sorry for the brazen uncivilized attitude of my brethren. But I am sure one of them will come forward and ask you out. Lately, I have noticed people do exactly that on my blog. I will be happy if some other brothers are able to find wives here. And thanks for your wishes. I do hope that it works out for me.
One of the people in the comments section proclaims that I am a "stupid idiot" because I write about the ladies and love. Well, that is only partly accurate. I write about ladies who don't give a fair chance to guys like me. Whatever. I have been down this route so many times that I am flagged and tired of talking about it. I love to write. I have written short stories all my life and now I write a blog!. What can I do? And I write about what I see. Sikh kids smoking cigarettes even as the tattoo of a khanda glistens on their backs, Sikh ladies who are too haughty and too cool to look at a turbaned guy as they sip on their margaritas and Sikh lads who don the turban when they accompany their parents to the Gurudwara yet are only too quick to take it off and show off their neat crew-cut in da club. What are you talking about? That is hot stuff to write about. It is the story of our lifetimes which is unfolding before our own eyes. Makes you wonder about a lot of things.
The other thing that caught my attention was a young missy talking about how she feels discriminated by turbaned guys because she cuts her hair. I must admit that this is the first of its kind. I am sorry if it is really true. I am sorry for the brazen uncivilized attitude of my brethren. But I am sure one of them will come forward and ask you out. Lately, I have noticed people do exactly that on my blog. I will be happy if some other brothers are able to find wives here. And thanks for your wishes. I do hope that it works out for me.
posted by harry singh at 4:48 PM
20 Comments:
A Sikh lady who cuts her hair will always be discriminated by Sikh guys who respect the "Hair" and maintain their Swaroop and tie a turban. Though, she can find a lot other Sikh guys who like her are disrespecting their hair and making themselves feel they are better off that way rather than to stick to Sikhi... They look clowns when on weekends they show up at the Gurdwara with no beard and sporting a turban on their head.
The girl who has been discriminated against- well, has been turned down by a person from a different religion- which , I guess is no big deal.
Consider this scenario- a hindu guy being turned down by a muslim girl because of religion. Not cool, but not completely unexpected.
Similarly, you being turned down by a girl who follows a different religion(in this case, a different sect), is also not totally unexpected. The only problem is, you have to get rid of your politically correct belief that you consider them sikhs.
I am not advocating any position- for or against turban. I am just pointing out that you are following a different religion than the girls you tried.
I have met all sorts of sikh women, and have encountered most of the things you have, but I know I am looking for someone who follows sikhi (as I see it). Others are just from different religion, being turned down by them doesnt bother me, because I am not looking for them.
I found many many many women who follow your and my brand of sikhi, and I have to make some hard choices now,choosing one of them ;-).
Mr Anon
To the same girl whose been discriminated against - I am a turbaned sikh - I have no qualms with sikh women who cut their hair. In fact, I find them more attractive. Though I don't cut my hair, I think true Sikhi is not to judge people's choices and that's how I chose to practice it. So don't think that all turbaned sikh men dont' fancy you because some of them really do - just give them a chance to.
Inawe Singh
NATIONAL PROBLEM
This seems like a problem of national importance and scale: How to find a wife for turban wearing men? AND How to find a husband for turban prefering women ?
PROPOSAL
I propose we should set up a fund and a body to resolve this problem. This fund should be used for the following objectives:
OBJECTIVES
1. MATRIMONIAL WEBSITE: To set up a website that only accepts turban wearing and turban desiring matrimonial ads. There is one that I know of but it is not popular although its fully free www.gurmat.com
2. ADVERTISEMENT CAMPAIGN: To make this site (the new one or just gurmat.com) popular through advertising and posters campaign around the world's ALL gurdwaras and centers where even one sikh exist.
3. MEDIA: To dignify turban wearing heros of the past and present through media: print, film, internet.
4. GROOMING ARTS: To set up turban training, beard dressing/grooming camps. We need to take proactive steps, not merely follow "Kesh di BeAdbee" concept, we now need to promote "kesh di shan", because kesh di Be Adbee implies Kesh Di Shan/dignity.
5. SOCIAL SKILLS TRAINING: To Train the sikhs in cultural and social arts and skills, such as, various dances/bhangra/giddha/gatka/religion/sikh history and skills in interactions with opposite sex.
BABY STEPS
To begin with, the first two steps should be accomplished and gradually other steps should be taken care of with this fund.
WHO SUFFERS BECAUSE OF OUR INACTION
A)SUFFERING SIKH CLUBERS
The web meeting place for Turban wearing and prefering men and women will divert sikh youth from clubs and bring them back where they belong: The Sikh Only Web Club
B) SUFFERING SIKH DIASOPRA (?)
This is especially urgently needed because the sikhs being chakarvarti/mobile working people, often find themselves isolated and outcast in far flung places, where they hardly find Sikhs, what to talk of turbaned sikhs.
C) SUFFERING SIKH WOMEN
Women preffering turbaned men are also suffering from this problem as they find it hard to find turban wearing men because there are not many they can choose from both because of scattered population and diminishing population of turban wearing men.
ROLLING THE PROPOSAL IN MOTION
I hope people will come forward rather than giving suggestions as this is a serious SIKH national problem with which we must wrestle jointly and immediately.
Fund is the engine of any activity, so I volunteer/pledge Canadian $1000 for this objective.
(I CAN ALSO VOLUTEER FOR DRAFTING THE CONSTITUTION AND ORGANS OF THE BODY TO ACHIEVE THE ACCEPTED OBJECTIVES, but only after the proposal is accepted by at least necessary number of financers)
wow! there are no gursikh women between 18 and 25 on that website.
lol.
We are seriously screwed harry.
Anonymous said...
"NATIONAL PROBLEM"
There may be problem on individual level but as you have projected, it is not a national problem at all, whether in North America or India. There are individuals Sikhs (both man & women) who do not want to get married to a Sikh. But thats is their personal choice.
I’m a baptized Sikh married to a baptized Sikh woman and I know a lot of other Sikh couples married happily with in the Sikh culture as well as outside of the culture without the help of any resolve that you offered. My cousin who wears turban, is married to a Hindu gal and one of my friends friend who is a Turbaned Sikh as well has married a Muslim gal, just to cite a few. Before I got married, women (non-Sikhs) who I knew on personal level also showed interest in me, but I chose to have a life partner from the same faith that I believe in looking beyond the starry starry night scenario, taking into account the future problems like raising kids etc….
If Harry is facing a problem getting his soul mate what ever reason it may be (though he claims it to be his Turban), that does not implies that it is applicable equally to all the Turbaned Sikhs (men/women). May be Harry has been looking in at wrong places all these years. My personal suggestion to Harry.... "All that glitters in not Gold".
And next time you suggest a resolve, please give your where abouts so as to people who agree with you may be able to contact you so that you also may know how much is your solution worth.
MILLIONS OF "CRYING HARRIES" APPEAL FOR RESOLUTION OF THIS NATIONAL PROBLEM.
WE DO NEED A BODY AND FUNDING TO RESOLVE THIS SERIOUS PROBLEM.
WITHOUT FUNDS, THE BODY CANNOT RUN; FUNDS ARE THE ENGINE OF THE BODY; FUNDS WILL SET THE PROPOSALS IN MOTION.
SIGN UP FOR YOUR FUNDING PLEDGES.
MILLIONS OF "CRYING HARRIES" OF BOTH SEXES APPEAL FOR RESOLUTION OF THIS NATIONAL PROBLEM.
WE DO NEED A BODY AND FUNDING TO RESOLVE THIS SERIOUS PROBLEM.
WITHOUT FUNDS, THE BODY CANNOT RUN; FUNDS ARE THE ENGINE OF THE BODY; FUNDS WILL SET THE PROPOSALS IN MOTION.
SIGN UP FOR YOUR FUNDING PLEDGES.
SIKHNET HAS DE-SIGNED BY DESIGN
Instead of signing up for the body OR voluteering to resolve "crying Harry" problem, Gurmustak Singh/sikhnet has bounced the Harry's blog out of top 7 featured blog section so that Harry's blog does not take away sikhnet's sikh matrimonials revenue by offering free matrimonial services to the trurbaned Sikhs (men and women).
If sikhnet were sincere, they would have rather pushed the Harry blog on the front page for fund raising like they did for the sikhnet fund raising.
But like club bouncers they have bounced the blog down. To justify their move, they have also bounced Gurmastuk's blog down.
Its clever move, but not very much so--they have chosen the wrong timing. The timing of blog bouncing co-inciding with the "Crying Harry" proposal clearly and unambiguously shows their bad faith intention when combined with their sikhnet revenue concerns.
If they want to show that they have no bad faith, they should immediately move the blog at the top and participate in this national problem of "crying sikh Harries".
This will not affect sikhnet matrimonial revenue much because this proposal is only for turbaned sikh prefering matches; so the sikhnet can continue with their matrimonial service because the large share of non turban prefering market is left open for them. In addition, by joining in this proposal, sikhnet will gain popularity, which in turn will generate more funds for their fund raising initiatives in the future. But otherwise sikhnet will loose popularity and hence revenue.
ugh.. Be a man! do something real in life... be a sikh role model-show the others that you can achieve even WITH a turban. Be a Bhagat Puran Singh, a Manmohan Singh, a Milkha Singh...
A famous sikh historian once told me that this is a trough before a crest. Sikhism will come back, and we are the ones who are going to bring it back. May be the writer in you can be a famous turbaned sikh. Maybe this anonymous chap can be a good politician, may be sarvjeet can be a preacher..maybe I will get rid of my computer and do something constructive ;-).
^
Read this! What are great comment! You kno I think that we all need to do more for ourselves and our community and after reading that comment I have been inspired to do something that I have been ignoring for a while. Thanks alot!
Ms. A in the UK
dear mr.harry singh[?]...call it my luck[bad or gud]..or more of a coincidence that i chanced to read ur blog tday...hav just cried my eyes out and for nearly similar reasons as u seem to be...this is the first time am readin ur blog and hav only read a few of ur posts..but think maybe its a gud idea to spend out my frustration here..hehe..coz while u seem to be lamentin the scarcity..[nay the very extinction..eh no?] of eligible singhnis...lemme tell u the singhs arnd r nt exactly visible either...especially if they also choose to lurk behind pseudo-names like ''harry'' and ''vicky'' and so on[the list is endless]...mayb u do hav a beautiful gursikh name derived from my beautiful Guru jee...however at the veritable risk of soundin offensive[?]..i think ur potential gursikh wife may need to knw hw to address her singh sahib..huh?wotsay?
i havnt read ur other posts ..[nt yet] and so i may be sayin all this frm wat they call the ''first impression'' ...but then they also say the first one is the last....dnt wori tho..i beg to differ..[can wait till the 2nd or 3rd even].
lemme knw if i hav been too rude..eh?
be lukin fwd to ur view..and prayin hard..:)..
also.. there r millions of beautiful gursikh singhnis..and singhs ...with Guru's kirpa each one will meet the ONE[my beautiful Guru jee] they have to...and also each other...in the process..
never say die is the khalsa spirit.
so say...
waheguru ji ka khalsa
waheguru ji ki fateh jee!!!
p.s:the reasons i hav swollen eyes rite now is the paucity of Guru-absorbed lovely singhs in full sikhi saroop..singhs who hav nt even a precious inch of their hair or sikhi shorn..
fateh jee!!!
Ms Anon In the UK,
WHich commnet has inspired u to do more for community and for yourself. Let me know so that I may also drink nectair of some inspiration.
Thanks
Hi,
It was comment #10 that made me open my eyes. Actually I have been ignoring some of the things that defined who I was in the community because of the usual excuses (university being the main one) so after reading that comment I have decided that I need to organize my time better and help out more.
*Ms A in the UK
Gurleen Kaur,
You are a very motivating speaker. Not only are the droplets of your wet weeping eyes melt hardened hearts, but your flowery words also penetrate deep like immortal nectair of wild roses to awaken the sleeping spirits of the beautiful "guru leen" Sighs and singhanis to rise n' shine on the world's theatrical stage.
How can I contact you for further communication of which I am really fond of by now?
I am happy that it inspires you Ms. Anon.
Its a domino effect- you might inspire even more people.
Go ahead, and do great work!
Very Anonymous guy from turbanland, hoping to be a role model sikh.
Hey to anonymous 2 comments above,
Are you trying to hit on Gurleen Kaur? Your words are in fact more flowery than hers!
hehe, give a gift check to harry if you find your spouse through his blog.
I will and thanks to whoever that Anon was who opened my eyes!!!!!
Ms A in the UK
givelove,
My words may be flowery, but they don't have magical tear drop-lets that only women have, that melt the hardest of stones.
Aristotle's "The rhetoric" calls it "pathos", exciting pity, thereby winning the argument.
You have again committed a flaw in your argument by ignoring a relevant factor in my argument.
So Gurleen is still one degree over and above me.
But I thank you for appreciating the flower power in my comment.
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