Site Meter

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


It turns out that people have often asked me if I have not met anybody at the local Gurudwara. It is true that for the Sikh diaspora like myself, the local Gurudwara is the only place one could meet and interact with other Sikhs. I go to my local Gurdwara every time I am not working on the weekends. I do meet other Sikh people.

However, the thought of meeting women at the Gurdwara is too revolting for me. I go to the Gurdwara to pay my respects to God and hopefully listen to some keertan and learn something new. It is true that I do not need to go there to pay my respects. I could do it anywhere anytime. But I do enjoy listening to the keertan and the langar is no less of an attraction. On the other hand, when I think about checking out women at the Gurdwara, guilt and remorse overwhelm me. My upbringing in a traditional Indian household means that the negative association between religion and amorous feelings is hardwired into me. I know God does not want me to be single( I hope He doesn't) but I can't bear the thought of ogling at women in His presence. I admit that sometimes inadvertently I have found myself indulging in the same process but every time I have realized that, I choke and I start reciting Japji Sahib hoping that God will forgive me. I figured that I am going to save my suitor skills for other places.

It is true that I could meet people who might be looking for grooms for their daughter's and maybe they will like me and something could work out. Well, here is the problem and now I am going to replay the blame game. Most of the people I have met are neck deep in the caste or turban stuff. Period. Nothing else matters to them. And so, I feel I don't have a fair chance.

Anyways, I did not mean to insult Khatri Sikhs in my other post. Part of the reason is that I was born into a Khatri Sikh family myself. The other part is that I don't believe in castes and care more about people than their surnames.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Which city do you live in ? Sounds like somewhere in California ... or New jersey! As far as ur comments on Khatris and jats , let me tell u something.. I think u are not thinking .... U know why..
Family Background: My best friend is a Jat , and I am non Jat! Strange to u not to me :
Reason: Both of us are from a similar family backgrounds.But thats not common though :

Jats more often than not come from a agricultural background who have just moved into the city.
Non-Jats have been City dwellers for a longer period of time.
Hence there are bound to be differences in upbringing and mind set.

Jats and Non Jats(more jats than non jats) who came here long time back as farmers in US have got stuck in time: One of my american born frined called American Pie a XXX rated movies: Mind u he was in Medical school.. God save him !

But the newer educated crop coming in Jats and Non jats (more Non Jats ) would have similar mind sets because they are educated.
I study in an institution , a very elite engineering school in US where all Sikhs come form the elitist education institute of India .. and we are around 10-15 of us here . Let me tell you one thing there is not even a single Jat and not even a single sikh women.

Yes dude there is segregation based on education and values! Why are u so bothered about such things! Its there in all communities and religions and its just that in ours its almost discernible by the last name.


10:00 AM, February 21, 2006  
Blogger Harry Singh said...

well, my best friend in high school was a jat too. Almost all of my Sikh friends have been Jats too.

In my experience, most Jat Sikh females and their families would prefer that they marry in Jat families . So far, I don't think education has changed these mindsets. I am bothered by these things because they are a hindrance to me in my quest for a wife.

I do not live in NJ or Cali. I live in Houston.

I agree with your observation that there are not too many Sikh women around. i don't know where they are hiding.

1:34 PM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"know God does not want me to be single( I hope He doesn't) but I can't bear the thought of oogling at women in His presence"
O.k. there is a difference between ogling at women and just making an attempt to talk to women. Please try to see women as friends. Try to look for a friend and one day she will become your wife. For while a take your focus away from finding a wife. Instead focus on forming friendships with women.

2:22 PM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous Singh Rite said...

Yeah i agree with harry on the part about looking for a wife at the gurdwara.
No matter how you slice it, it's just wrong.

2:42 PM, February 21, 2006  
Blogger SikhsRus said...

Great post on finding a wife! There is one out there for you if you believe in destiny. Now come on you guys! You know and I know that education has nothing to do with caste! I know people that have formal education but are still tangled up in this caste garbage! Like Guru Nanak said, it is the deeds that a person does makes it a higher not the family ort caste they belong to. Anyways, I just did a post about Caste and Trash. Please read if you wish. And, good luck on your search!

3:08 PM, February 21, 2006  
Blogger SikhsRus said...

Oh Yeah! Where are the pictures? You got to have pictures if you want a wife.

3:12 PM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous Puneet2 said...


As is stated in the Guru Granth Sahib and in several sakhis (stories of the gurus' lives), God is everywhere. Including the bars or other locations people go to meet women. You won't escape Him, and it won't be out of "His presence" wherever you meet a woman. So meeting one at gurudwara is no more "sinful" than anywhere else, given that God is within you, within me, within everyone, and can see you no matter where you are!

3:21 PM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The secret is simple the second YOU stop searching and let the ONE take over, ie Waheguru Ji then all your affairs will be sorted.

3:58 PM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You seem like a decent guy who just wants to share his life with someone and be happy and so take my advice. Stop looking for her and believe me...she'll come to you. I once was like you and then I decided to shift my focus and Lo and behold I met my Rani :)

8:24 PM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous Raiini said...

Really Harry you should past your picture. I'm sure your very desirable. Please do so.

8:01 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger grey said...

Agree with you on this one mate. Well said!

11:14 AM, February 22, 2006  
Anonymous sarcastic kaur said...

women are dirty. don't talk to them. especially in the gurdwara. they belong in the kitchen making langar. don't talk to women at gurdwara.

7:41 PM, February 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Sarcastic Kaur,
What's this about women being dirty and about them being in the kitchen? Being a women yourself, how could you make such a comment. It's sick and backwards. Besides men arn't that great on hygiene either.
I bet your a man

8:37 PM, February 22, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home