Sins?

It turns out that people have often asked me if I have not met anybody at the local Gurudwara. It is true that for the Sikh diaspora like myself, the local Gurudwara is the only place one could meet and interact with other Sikhs. I go to my local Gurdwara every time I am not working on the weekends. I do meet other Sikh people.

However, the thought of meeting women at the Gurdwara is too revolting for me. I go to the Gurdwara to pay my respects to God and hopefully listen to some keertan and learn something new. It is true that I do not need to go there to pay my respects. I could do it anywhere anytime. But I do enjoy listening to the keertan and the langar is no less of an attraction. On the other hand, when I think about checking out women at the Gurdwara, guilt and remorse overwhelm me. My upbringing in a traditional Indian household means that the negative association between religion and amorous feelings is hardwired into me. I know God does not want me to be single( I hope He doesn't) but I can't bear the thought of ogling at women in His presence. I admit that sometimes inadvertently I have found myself indulging in the same process but every time I have realized that, I choke and I start reciting Japji Sahib hoping that God will forgive me. I figured that I am going to save my suitor skills for other places.

It is true that I could meet people who might be looking for grooms for their daughter's and maybe they will like me and something could work out. Well, here is the problem and now I am going to replay the blame game. Most of the people I have met are neck deep in the caste or turban stuff. Period. Nothing else matters to them. And so, I feel I don't have a fair chance.

Anyways, I did not mean to insult Khatri Sikhs in my other post. Part of the reason is that I was born into a Khatri Sikh family myself. The other part is that I don't believe in castes and care more about people than their surnames.