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Thursday, February 09, 2006

More on My Sikhi

My Sikhi does not hold me back. I understand it is my own version of Sikhi. Most other people have their own version as well. It is a futile debate as to whose Sikhi is better than the rest because people will always come up with reasons to justify their own. Our conception of Sikhi is formed as a result of our own experiences and our upbringing. The reason I mentioned my story of my premature birth and all that stuff is not to bore anybody to death but to merely illustrate the point that our thinking about Sikhi is fashioned by the factors I mentioned above. My Sikhi is a visceral feeling. It does not originate from a precise elaborate deliberate analysis of Sikh teachings. It is who I am and where I come from.

Keeping kesh or not is obviously a matter of how comfortable one is with the "rules". There are more and more of us who think that perhaps God does not care about how many hair follicles have sprouted on your face. Perhaps, He doesn't. Perhaps, all He cares about is what you do with the rest of your life. Perhaps, He cares about your sense of charity and truthfulness and all the other goodies that you know as well as I. But having been brought up in a Sikh family, I have been told that keeping kesh is part of His design for me. That in and of itself is good enough for me. Everytime I had thought of cutting my hair, I think of that first morsel of Prasad that my parents put in my toothless mouth. I can still taste it and then reverence and guilt overwhelm me and I forget about it. I think of the countless times I have stood with my hands folded and my head bowed in ardaas and asked for kes-daan. How can I forget all that? I am just not comfortable with shutting my eyes to the relationships I have forged with God in my life. Like I said, it is a matter of comfort.

I never thought what others think of my Sikhi would ever make any difference to me. Although it was tough in the beginning but now I don't really care what other non-Punjabis assume about me. It is understandable that they may misconstrue my thoughts on the world. I can somehow understand their position. What bothers me, however, is what my own people think of me?
Most days, when I am in full control of my sanity, I can withstand a lot of nasty stuff without problem. But then again, I am an ordinary mortal. There are days when I see what more and more of young Sikh people around me perceive about the Sikh swaroop and it bothers me. Even though, I don't think women's opinion is any yardstick to measure one's Sikhi in but as a young guy it does matter when people who should have understood me don't seem to. These feelings do not generate self-doubt in me. Only bitterness and chagrin. I know I have chosen a path in life which is at the very least not commonplace. I know I can reason out composure for myself and be untouched with the fast changing thoughts around me. But sometimes it hurts when people assume things about you and toss your feelings around with utter disregard to the person behind the hair. Anyways, just a thought. Just who I am. An emotional fool.

My litany goes on. Here is what Robert Frost said in "A Road less taken":

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi, i was just curious to know wht it is that you do.

3:09 PM, February 10, 2006  
Anonymous Kiran said...

oh my lord. is this a question of why are you like this or like that or is it about finding a bloody wife??? its not a question about why you are who you are...you are a sikh, turbaned, well educated (?) guy with a (?) stable job who is also (?) sane and (?) mature. who cares re why you keep your hair etc. you do and that is your choice for your own reasons. end of story.

as for women who run at that...quite honestly...they are stupid. we all initially go for looks, sure. im not denying that. but at the same time, women (and men) need to realize that when you are 85yo, and lying there in a hospital bed, and tubes are coming out of every single hole in your body and then some, and you cant even wipe your own butt,...well, ive seen it and honey, you arent that pretty - hair/turban/hairless/silicony or not.

harry, it is honestly all about personality and confidence - which im sure you have. what you dont have, obviously, is the exposure to people (women) who are willing to see beyond the shallow exterior and their own shallow 'needs' and look within...to a man who is (correct me if im wrong here) well educated, stable career (not just a job), can pay his own bills...and perhaps the bills of the beautiful lucky kaur you choose...with strong moral and family values. i mean, honestly, what more is there in life, i ask? looks fade and can be changed with a slice of a surgeon's knife. what you need, harry my man, is just to find someone who accepts you for you. but im sure you know that already.

true love is not when we find our perfect partner. it is when, even through their imperfections, we still see our partner as perfect.

10:52 AM, February 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HI Harry,
Ummm could you tell me what kinda girl your lookin for since i'm a sikh girl in the UK who is also lookin for a religous guy and you do sound very nice.

7:02 PM, February 11, 2006  
Anonymous Puneet2 said...

I suppose you'll have to excuse me, Kiran, for asking a question I perceive as very important. I thought part of the blog was to try and raise awareness within Sikh youth communities about the issue of whether women are able to accept Sardar males. The purpose of the question was to try to explore that particular dialogue, not to irritate you or anyone else who is only interested in the finding-a-spouse part. After all, there's more to life than that.

10:39 PM, February 11, 2006  
Blogger Harry Singh said...

K.K.K...Kiran. Thank you sweetie(a repartee to your "Honey". You can take out the ? from your comments coz I am all that and more. Then, why I will be spending this Valentines alone?.Now,that is a big "?"

7:02 PM, February 12, 2006  
Blogger ss said...

Kiran - spot on.

Good reality check.

6:29 AM, February 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi!
I'm the anonymous #2. I didn't mean to come across as someone who only wants to find a guy. Actually I'm facing the same problem in the UK. You see I come from a family where everyone is religous and my parents are amritari. I enjoy being a skih women but what I seem to be comin across these days is that people don't want to marry someone who is that involved with sikhi. I teach punjabi and kirtan at the gurdhwara and I enjoy it. OK i'm gonna end this and I just wanna say that I apologize if I came across as someone who only wanted to find a guy.
Ms A

10:02 AM, February 13, 2006  

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