Is Cupid listening?
It was my day off today. I languished in bed till late morning. With great effort, I dragged myself out of my bed and made myself some coffee. As I stood in the balcony sipping my cup of lukewarm coffee and listening to the wind rustle my wind-chimes, it hit me. It is February. The month of St. Valentines and for someone like me, the month that brings bile to mouth. Shit, I told myself. Last year I had promised myself that this year would be my last year as a bachelor. It would be the last year when I would utter profanities on seeing a couple walk hand in hand oblivious to the world around them. Of course, the profanities being directed at myself rather than at the couple. That goes without saying.
I live in a country where overt expression of affection is the rule rather than exception. Even in India, things are changing rapidly and it is so common to see young clueless noveau amores ( I think that is a word but read new lovers) walk around with the girl chuckling and blushing ,carrying a teddy or a red rose in her hand and the guy, content with his conquest and thinking of all the steamy stories he is going to tell his buddy. Anyways, it is kind of hard to be surrounded by this sea of love, if all you have is yourself and an imaginative mind. If only I were dumb enough not to be affected by things around me.
Anyways, sometimes I think Cupid has been unfair to me. I have been the object of his target practice for too long. I wish he were kind enough to turn his bow towards a femme fatale ,shoot an arrow with my name written on it and make me happy.
Cupid Bhaji, are you listening?
I live in a country where overt expression of affection is the rule rather than exception. Even in India, things are changing rapidly and it is so common to see young clueless noveau amores ( I think that is a word but read new lovers) walk around with the girl chuckling and blushing ,carrying a teddy or a red rose in her hand and the guy, content with his conquest and thinking of all the steamy stories he is going to tell his buddy. Anyways, it is kind of hard to be surrounded by this sea of love, if all you have is yourself and an imaginative mind. If only I were dumb enough not to be affected by things around me.
Anyways, sometimes I think Cupid has been unfair to me. I have been the object of his target practice for too long. I wish he were kind enough to turn his bow towards a femme fatale ,shoot an arrow with my name written on it and make me happy.
Cupid Bhaji, are you listening?
posted by harry singh at 9:46 PM
7 Comments:
Aww.. well you can always celebrate it with your dear friends.. it'll be a good laugh don't you think?
It'll be a right trip if Cupid shoots his arrow at you!! Casanova in action.. what a hoot!! Let us know how you'll spend the dreaded 14th..
Cherio!
She'll come, don't worry.
Harry-
I'm back. I have a question for you and others reading the blog. It is a personal question for all of us-- what does hair and turban mean to you? What is your inspiration for keeping it?
One thing that has been so incredibly refreshing for me about your blog is its sheer honesty. All of us have heard the usual rhetoric in gurudwaras and Sikh websites where uncles and aunties pontificate about how hair makes us more Godly. But honestly, what is our main motivation for keeping it? Seriously, is hair what makes us Godly, or Guru Nanak's three rules: Vand Chakna, Naam Japna, and Kirit Karna? (None of which translate to "keeping one's hair," I would point out). And also, if what you're saying is true, that is, that keeping hair and turbans is no longer conducive to modern life (as in finding a spouse, not being mistaken for bin Laden, etc.), then is it remotely possible that our gurus might have wanted us to change? That is, is "Sikhi Saroop" something that is static, frozen in time, and not something that should evolve with different historical and cultural conditions? What is the main purpose for us as a people to keep "saroop" if it is no longer adaptive in today's world and if it is not directly related to our individual Godliness? (Maybe it is for some people, I don't know).
Your blog raises some very important issues for the larger Sikh panth, not just for young male Sardars. I would like to move beyond the divisive rhetoric separating keshadhari, amrit dhari, and supposedly "sehaj dhari" Sikhs and hear some true, bluntly honest opinions from other young Sikhs about what Sikhi saroop is, and also what it isn't to you (particularly you, Harry).
(By the way-- please note, for those that may not have read my previous posts, I am 24 years old, and I have been married for about one month to a wonderful Sardar who I adore. However, we maintain an open and thoughtful dialogue about our choices and hair keeping habits in our home. I would encourage all of us as young Sikh people to start being very thoughtful about this and not just doing things, either keeping or not keeping hair, simply because of what other people say or what heavy-handed rhetoric may be shoved at us in political Sikh arenas).
Okay, ideally if i am telling a kid who's confused I'd tell him about the spiritual importance of hair and a turban, and how "Our Hair is a Gift from Shri Guru Gobind Singh", and you dont question gifts.
I believe all that - but as this blog is about EXTERNAL reasons ... here you go -
1. My Hair and my turban are my identity.
I've always stayed in places where i stood out as i wore a turban. It was like what ever you did - people noticed.
There were rare times when i felt - it would be great to be lost in the crowd, instead of standing out all the time.(The pressures of being a celebrity! :-) ) You get noticed all the time ...i figure now those were the times when i was WEAK!
However on most times i loved being the one whom people dont forget easily. (Who doesnt love fame ?) Times when i was CONFIDENT about myself !
2. A turban wearing Sikh represents - the Sikh community
Makes you more responsible ...
This is something i tell myself everytime i see people talking about how - there are too few turban tying sikhs. How more clean shaven sikhs ... blah blah.
However, didnt Guru Gobind Singh Ji tell us - One Gursikh will stand out amongst 1 Lakh people. The lesser, the better the quality!
I can close here on a HIGHLY CONFIDENT NOTE - but some more honesty ...
The thing is - i was born into being a Sikh - i didnt take the decision myself. When you are a member of a faith because your parents were - who are because their parent were - you are bound to be confused.
Some of my friends who were clean shaven/trimmers and by themselves took the decision to become gursikhs - they HAVE TRUE Faith. They can tell others - why they tie a turban and have hair. Thats because they chose themselves to follow this path.
I - can talk about this for hours - but the truth is - i was born a Sikh, my parents and my family expected me to keep hair. I loved them too much to ever think any other way. And now my hair is a part of my identity.
And i love being the one who stands out in the crowd ...
This is in response to Puneet's question on "Keeping Hair".
I would like to have a two way chat/dialogue with you on this topic. So please send me your email address.
I think we have reached a point in history when we must give leadership to sikh community on this issue.
Thanks
Puneet,
In reference to your question
1. What does hair and turban mean to you?
2. What is your inspiration for keeping it?
I am a Sikh woman who grew up in Punjabi/Sikh house. I never thought of significance of me keeping my hair because everybody around me kept their hair uncut. However, all this changed after I emigrated to U.S.A. Few years ago; I cut my hair for two reasons- 1. I worked in research lab and did surgeries on rats etc.( I was always preoccupied with washing my hair everyday and it was hassle for me) 2) My family insisted that I cut my hair ( my hair was too long and everybody around me had cut their hair). Very recently I started growing my hair again. It is a challenge because still I am surrounded by people who cut their hair, drink, party etc. I have started growing my hair all over again because I wanted to. Why I wanted to grow my hair? These days I read and try to understand Gurbani and I think now I do understand what it means to be Sikh. However, I think people who cut their hair and call themselves Sikhs are fine too. As long as we are honest, courageous, kind, hardworking and tolerant I think it does not matter if we keep hair or cut hair.
I dwell on this thought- I am not good, and nobody is bad!
I guess I answered both questions in one paragraph.
Thanks,
Kirpal
Hi Harry , your views were excellent ....
Mandeep
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