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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Too FOBy

I was talking to one of my friends the other day and during our conversation, I had a revelation. She was trying to help me in my quest and as part of that effort, she called one of her friends(Person #2) who knew another girl( Girl#1) who was eligible. So, she is talking to Person#2 and I overheard bits and pieces of their conversation. "So, who is this guy again? A FOB?". I know eavesdropping is not cool but that was completely unintentional.

Anyways, that was intriguing. I asked my friend if that was an important consideration for ABCD girls."Of course", she said. Oh Oh. Am I in the wrong neighbourhood or what?. Here I am. A turbaned Sikh and now also a FOB. I mean I was always a FOB but I never knew chicks( no disrespect) will hold that against me. My friend assures me that I am unlike most FOBs she has known. But I wonder why ABCDs care about that anyway

On more thought, I can partly see where they are coming from. True to the epithet given to them, they are confused. They still think people from the motherland are poorly dressed, uncultured uncool money-lusting aliens who are not good enough for displaying to their American friends. Oh Please. I mean most FOB kids I know are so unlike that. Sure, they have a little bit of accent and they can't roll their Rs as well as their American counterparts but most of them are highly educated, ambitious, smart chaps. They like to groom well and they do spend their hard earned money, albeit a bit more thoughtfully. They all are doing extremely well in their careers and do great on the social scene as well. The new crop of FOBs is unlike anything you have seen before. These are not kids who ran away from poverty back home to make a living here but they are the go-getters and are here to make a mark.

So Ladies, don't assume. FOB is not = to Full of Bull. Explore and you shall not be disappointed.

BTW, FOB is an acronym for "Fresh off the Boat", an uncool slang for people who were not born and brought up in the country of their residence.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I started my own blogg today from you site. It's called Padam's Blogg
http/www.padamsanparsahib.blogspot.com/
Hope your feeling better with your depression. I tried Sarafem once-it's a form of prozac. It just made me sleepy

9:48 PM, February 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the term "FOB" exists then so does the term "ABCD." If you are so offended by being called a FOB, don't you think that perhaps being called "confused" is also offensive? Even though the word 'fobby' is used loosely, I can't believe that it is used in a derogatory manner in all instances. Mostly, it's just a quick way of saying that the person was neither born nor brought up here (U.S.). I do agree,however, that it can seem a bit rude and it probably should not be used as loosly as it is. Not to make a justification for it or anything, I have "fobby" friends who use the term to describe other "fobs." In any case, FOB does not really apply to us Indians anyway. But, that's just besides the point.

anyway, I an "ABD" ( who does know and appreciate the culture and does not care if a person has recently come from India) apologize on behalf of other "ABD's" and some "AB-C-D's" if FOB's (for the lack of a better word) ;) have been offended by that it.

"ABD"

10:28 PM, February 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If there is a term "FOB" then there is also a term "ABCD." If you are so offended by being called a FOB, don't you think that perhaps being called "confused" is also offensive? Even though the word 'fobby' is used loosely, I can't believe that it is used in a derogatory manner in all instances. Mostly, it's just a quick way of saying that the person was neither born nor brought up here (U.S.). I do agree,however, that it can seem a bit rude and it probably should not be used as loosly as it is. Not to make a justification for it or anything, I have "fobby" friends who use the term to describe other "fobs." In any case, FOB does not really apply to us Indians anyway. But, that's just besides the point.

anyway, I an "ABD" apologize on behalf of other "ABD's" ( who do know and appreciate the culture and do not care if a person has recently come from India)and some "AB-C-D's" if FOB's (for the lack of a better word) ;) have been offended by that term.

"ABD"

10:34 PM, February 12, 2006  
Blogger Lilly said...

i tend to stay away from fobs because when i went to india i learned that deodorant isn't the norm there... i can't be around someone who smells bad, personally. that's my biggest hangup =)

11:53 PM, February 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your arguments about being pigeon-holed and stereotyped by being a recent immigrant would hold more strength if you weren't pigeon-holing and stereotyping "abcd's" as you call them.

12:07 PM, February 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I mean I was always a FOB but I never knew chicks( no disrespect) will hold that against me"

What the hell does this mean?

1:30 PM, February 13, 2006  
Anonymous Puneet2 said...

As a supposed "ABCD" (and I do resent the term. I have been told that I speak solid Punjabi and know a lot about Sikh philosophy/history from people that grew up in India), I can tell you that there were very good reasons I avoided looking for Indian men (meaning born/raised in India). I felt that I would not have enough in common with someone who was not raised in the West. Mostly, I felt that the experience of being Sikh in the U.S. is different from the experience in being Sikh in India. Perhaps that was a misconception; maybe Sikhs are equally treated as a minority everywhere. But I can tell you that there are legitimate reasons people limit their search to people raised in the culture they grew up in. Usually it's to try and have more common ground with the person. Similar, perhaps, to the choice people make when deciding whether to be with sardar vs. not-sardar people, or even choosing to be with a Punjabi Sikh rather than a white Sikh. You just want to have more in common with the person. That's the main reason myself and most of my Sikh friends have looked for other young Sikhs from the U.S. or Canada before looking at India.

In addition, while this may not be the case with you, Harry, there have been too many cases of Indian men marrying American-born Sikh women to get visa status. I know several of these women, including my massi, who ended up being abandoned by her husband as soon as he got his visa. She was divorced and left to be a single mom with two baby girls. Unfortunately, these sort of predatory men (and women!) have given Indian people looking at American-born Sikhs something of a bad name. My husband said he refused to look at "green card diggers" (a take-off of the term "gold diggers") as possible wife candidates. So just to present some background to you, it's not all irrational or about body odor or other silly stereotypes. There are some concrete reasons American-born Sikhs might stay away from Indian Sikhs. I'm sure if you're as eligible and dashing as some people seem to think in the blog comments, that you will find a lovely wife, FOB or ABCD, all in good time. In the end it's not about any of these superficial characteristics. It's about how you get along on a daily basis and some intangible feeling of how you "mesh" with a person. I think you might want to try approaching an "ABCD" yourself without a mediating third party and see what happens before you write all of us off as "confused." I have to confess, this post irritated me more than any of the previous ones-- now it seems like you're just trying to find reasons to blame women for your lack of success finding a wife. The truth is that it's about luck, personality, charisma, etc. etc. etc. There are so many factors, and I'm sure you can succeed in the FOB or ABCD pool if you're open-minded and approach women in a **non-judgmental** way.

5:08 PM, February 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Puneet 2 is right.
So far Harry has blamed Sikh women, Jatts, and ABCDs. I wonder who is next on his list to blame for his unsuccessful search of finding wife.
Keep blaming Harry!


Kristen

8:20 PM, February 13, 2006  
Anonymous Singh Rite said...

Harry, dude, your blog seems to attract all the cynics.
Go easy on the boy ladies...

loving the blog so far dude.

1:10 PM, February 16, 2006  

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