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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

To Be(ard) or not to be

One of the commenters to my previous posts had asked the question:" Why do some Sikh women don't like Sikh men with beard?". At the outset, it appears to be a simple question. But maybe not. Unfortunately, as a bearer of XY chromosome, I can only surmise what the other sex thinks about the beard. So, if some of my thoughts tickle people the wrong way, I am sorry.

The simplest explanation is perhaps that the beard has simply grown out of fashion. No pun intended. The new look of the brave new century just does not include a flowing mane. The new look consists of chiselled faces with high cheek bones. In the era of high definition TVs, the girls don't like their significant other's frontal profile fuzzed up with a lot of hair. They would rather want him looking sharp. They would rather have somebody who is abreast of the latest fashions and the newest looks. A lot of this attitude is generated by peer-pressure especially through the mass-media. The image of a choclate faced hero is nowhere close to a man with a beard. This peer-pressure has only been worsened in recent times whereby turban has been associated with a certain group of people and mostly invokes negative emotions from the Western Society. There are umpteen examples of "mistaken identity", hassles at the airports blah blah blah. Young Sikh women would rather avoid all this hassle and take the easy way out which ensures easier merger into the Society around them. The net result of all this pressure is that the image of a turbaned bearded Sikh man connotes a person who is out of touch with times. Unfortunately, we live in a world where the wrapping of the gift is equally,if not more important than what is inside. It takes a lot of courage to open up the package and so most people would rather pick up the box with the most visually appealing wrapping.

At the risk of sounding risque, may I state that beard is perhaps considered an impediment during intimate moments. I promise I am not making this up. I have concrete proof to prove my assertion in terms of candid comments from friends. It is probably easier to be kissed by someone without getting entangled in the woodworks. It is probably going to offend some people but unfortunately, from what I have heard, it is an important consideration for most women. I am not going to shy away from mentioning this because people will mind it. It is part of the reason, as I see it. I might be wrong but I will need arguments to convince me.

Anyways, those are some of the reasons as I see them. I am sure there are people who can do a better analysis than I could and I am keen to listen to their arguments. The interesting thing is some of the above reasons are fixable while others are not. We shall talk about the remedies at another time.


Blogger Lilly said...

This post is absolutely ridiculous. I think that whether a woman prefers a beard or not relies on her personal preference - does she like them, or does she not? Very few women rationalize a man's appearance to that extent. If you got the charms, it won't matter what you look like.

8:27 PM, January 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

speaking as a sikh woman, born and brought up in the states, i have to say, i haven't ever come across a sikh man who truly loves his sikh saroop who will only complain about the "trials and tribulations" of his saroop. and when i have come across a sikh gentleman who complains about how his sikh saroop is a burden on his ability to conduct a "normal" life, well, 1) it makes me wonder about his confidence 2) it is a turn off 3) i don't think he really loves his sikh saroop. i know that i am not attracted to sikh males who only see the problems that the sikh saroop brings them and do not see that these problems of sticking out go hand in hand with the saroop and are part of the reason that one strives to be a nyara sikh. when i can see and feel an attitude that a sikh man feels the strength that his sikh saroop brings him, that is when my head turns; i.e. THAT'S HOT!

long story short, your writings on this blog display a tension between blaming sikh women for not considering you sexy enough and your own internal misgivings on whether you are indeed as fabulous as you imagine yourself to be.

-kaur looking for a man with a spine

8:28 PM, January 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymus Kaur
Well there are always going to be Sikh girls who want to fit in the society and would like a "clean shaven" bollywwod hero, as are many cowardly Sikh men who can't face the world in their sikh saroop. But that is not true of many many Sikh girls who are themselves looking for a self assured handsome and articulate man in sikh saroop but are finding it difficult to come across one. I agree with another comment here that you seem to have your own doubts about your identity and lack confidence.

I have personally seen a smart turbaned GurSikh in my university days literally mobbed by women including white girls who were attracted by his competence, his humour and self confidence and articulation of the issues. He would be center of attraction in any party leading the conversation.I never saw him drinking or smoking. He was also athletic and used to work out very regularly.

9:54 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger grey said...

Oh Boy! Somebody has to balance out the argument here. Its turning out to be COMPLETELY lop-sided.

If this was a boxing match - you can see the image of Harry Singh raising him arms from the red corner at the start of the match - and then a dozen girls running in from the blue corner - throwing hard punches at him from all sides ;-)

Harry here's something from the catcher in the rye to cheer you up -

the trouble with girls is, if they like a boy, no matter how big a bastard he is, they'll say he has an inferiority complex, and if they don't like him, no matter how nice a guy he is, or how big an inferiority complex he has, they'll say he's conceited. Even smart girls do it.


6:35 AM, February 01, 2006  
Blogger Angad Singh said...

I totally argee with what Anonymous Phenji 1( the 1st one said)..yes I agree there are a lot of girls who want a crop guy and stuff...but seriously think about confident are you of your roop and all....previous post you talk about going clubbing etc..if you go to similar places heck your not gonna find a kind a gal you looking for...right place..right sangat..tts the key..

the next thing you know exactly wht kinda gal you want..if you do know..then u ll probabaly know where she can be found..go there and u ll get her..

gur fateh!

9:18 AM, February 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"One of the commenters to my previous posts had asked the question: 'Why do some Sikh women don't like Sikh men with beard?'"

Just to balance out the equation...
Why is it that some 'Gursikh' men prefer women without a turban?
They would like a girl who is religious but she should not be too religious?

In all honesty (all judgments aside) what is the general feeling that our singhs have when it comes to dastaar wearing singhnia?

8:51 PM, February 21, 2006  

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