Mirages
It seems that the current part of my journey is through a desert. A big dry sea of sand in which I am trudging, carrying the corpse of my dreams. Every now and then, I get taunted with sights of a distant oasis with fresh water and good food but so far it has always turned out to be a dastardly mirage.
In the last two weeks, I have had four leads. Friends and other sources have helped me get in touch with four prospectives. First of all, H1 asked me to email a girl who currently lives down under. I did as instructed and we have been in touch. However, we have kind of figured out that it is not going to work out. It seems like we belong to different times and although we are going to be good friends, it is probably going to end there. Anyways, things may change if and when we meet. The other contact was provided by a colleague at work. It is one of her good friends who is currently single. I have emailed her but so far it has been all zilch. We will see how that turns out. The third one is a friend of a friend who initially was ok to meet a Sardar guy but then changed her mind and decided she did not want anyone with a turban. Cheers to that. The last one was a random blogger whom I should not have attached much importance to. It is funny how after years of discipline, I am still such a kid. I get excited by little things. 27 springs have taught me nothing but to be a grown up kid.
In the last two weeks, I have had four leads. Friends and other sources have helped me get in touch with four prospectives. First of all, H1 asked me to email a girl who currently lives down under. I did as instructed and we have been in touch. However, we have kind of figured out that it is not going to work out. It seems like we belong to different times and although we are going to be good friends, it is probably going to end there. Anyways, things may change if and when we meet. The other contact was provided by a colleague at work. It is one of her good friends who is currently single. I have emailed her but so far it has been all zilch. We will see how that turns out. The third one is a friend of a friend who initially was ok to meet a Sardar guy but then changed her mind and decided she did not want anyone with a turban. Cheers to that. The last one was a random blogger whom I should not have attached much importance to. It is funny how after years of discipline, I am still such a kid. I get excited by little things. 27 springs have taught me nothing but to be a grown up kid.
posted by harry singh at 11:19 AM
6 Comments:
Harry Singh,
It is OKAY - to be a kid once in a while ! We are not supposed to be perfect. The world would be a very boring place if everybody was a grown up adult!
Enjoy your growing readership - and stick to what you do best - dark humor blended with a whining tone to narrate your story of "finding a wife". I am sure people are hooked to that!
Cheers!
I have a few suggestions to make:
1. The topic you have chosen is an archetype, a problem that keeps repeating itself over generations for all turbaned and bearded Sikhs. In short the topic is of great IMPORTANCE as it touches the hearts of all gnerations of all times: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.
2. The problem is very touching as it deals with how a sikh man fights against his own harmones because of lack of woman in his life--indeed it is a fight against very potent, and powerful agent of nature--the harmone, testostereon. I conclude that no one can WIN against such a virile and uncontrollable agent. Gurus, prophets, avatars, saints, nuns, and all others have tried but succumbed to its (harmone's) power eventually. This fight is useless as it is uncuncurable.
3. The problem has its solutions. Some have gone clean shaven,some keep their hair but trim their beards, some fold their beards, some roll them, some curl them and some keep them naturally flowing (even if the moustache is right in the mouth, even after a lot of styling and pressing). I have also heard some even do "candling" (they burn their beards so that they are not accused of cutting them).
4. ALL these solutions are not in accordance with what Sikhism dictates. In the next post, I will explain what, in my firm opinion, are the dictates about keeping hair and beards. Remember all the above solutions which people have devised in quest for winning a woman's heart do not accord with Sikhism according to my FIRM conclusions, thoughts, intution and study.
5. Finally, I want to suggest that keep your writings short. It will be more time efficient. because people are so busy.
For further questions: MY email address is, sumeet999@hotmail.com
Hi Harry,
Take heart. Finding a spouse is not easy, and it often takes some time. In one of your previous posts, it sounded like you were waiting for a Sikh woman to sweep you off your feet, to take your breath away, "love at first sight," that type of thing. I would say that in meeting and getting to know my own Sardar husband, the process was much less dramatic. You often find love in the most unexpected of places. And while there may not be "instant chemistry," you may find that you meet someone who seems mildly interesting at first. And when you talk to them over a few meetings, you might discover that you and the person have more in common than first meets the eye. In other words, for my new husband and me, we "grew in love" over several months rather than "falling in love" on one day. It's not like we met on one day and lightning struck, and we knew we were meant to be. It's more that we negotiated and got to know one another and decided to get married. The arranged marriage system has this one weakness, which is that you often have to make a decision in one meeting. You might want to consider having more than one meeting with prospectives, if it seems possible.
I continue to enjoy your blog, and I keep on wishing for your successful finding of a wife. Please do keep your mind open-- if you meet an interesting "sardarni," perhaps also give her as much of a chance as you would ask.
Otherwise, may Waheguru bless you and support you in this journey. I have been sharing your blog with my family, and my husband sympathizes -- so just know you do have readers who feel your pain and are wishing you well.
Hi harry,
I can't but resist writing this. I'll keep it short and simple.
Have you EVER thought why Sikh girls think the way they do (i.e. wanting to marry a clean shaven guy)?
Please don't blame it on girls alone. A girl has to think about every aspect of her life, whether it be with her in-laws or her family. It's a VERY tough decision to make. And when you throw it around so blatanly that Sikhnis are "picky", i'm sorry, but it hurts to think that all this argument is one-sided.
Not all turbaned guys are better than clean shaven guys. So is true of the opposite sex.
But we, too, face this problem.
Very few of my Gursikh friends would readily accept a Gursikh girl. So you're not alone in all this.
I hope you find this "somewhere in time" girl. All the best!!
Hi
I didn't get what point the anonymous writer (number 4 in the row) wanted to make. Can you claify the following point in your posting, please?
1. Why sikh girls want to marry shaved guys (I don't call them clean shaven because they are not more cleaner than any bearded guy, or to make it even we should call clean shaven and clean haired guy or clean bearded guy)
2. Not all turbaned guys are better than clean shaven guys. So is true of the opposite sex.
But we, too, face this problem.
For your information, I am anonymous 2nd in the posting row.
Read this today ...
thought it fits in context of the post;-)
"All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband some day."
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