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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Did I score or what?

Notwithstanding the noise being generated by my last post and the few questions that I shall try to answer, the exciting thing is that I might have earned myself a date. Thanks, L babe for accepting my invitation. Indeed, let us go out girl. I hope you are serious. Coz I am hearing violins in the background and I hate for them to go away.

Ok, while I am thinking of vooing her, let us talk about the other issues at hand. Assumptions, I say, is the mother of all follies. I don't think my story is a story of a few young Sikh guys who find themselves on the wrong side of the aisle. I completely and totally understand the side of the Gursikh women who have the courage to follow their religion to the tee. I salute you gals. I am surprised however by the assumption that I would not consider such a girl for a wife. Ok, I am not going to pretend that I am not perfect. Tell me who is. I am not going to pretend that my hormones do not respond physiologically when I see a pretty babe. Of course,they do. Just because I wear a turban does not mean that I have lost my masculunity. However, that does not in any way mean that I shun, reject or deride Sikh girls who do not cut their hair. As a matter of fact, I would expect my wife not to cut her hair. It might be difficult for people to comprehend but I do believe in my principles and am willing to stand by them. Just because I called a girl "foxy" does not mean that I liked her because she had cut her hair. I never said that and I can not be blamed for people's imaginations. If she happened to be a truly beautiful person, then I am going to say so. The reasons I did not choose the other person are not fit for description here just because I don't wish anybody's feelings to be hurt. But suffice it to say that I was not attracted to one girl over the other because one had cut her hair and the other had not or one was wearing a skimpy dress while the other was not. If you can believe it, I try to look beyond the hair.

The assumption that has hurt me most is to say that I am not a religious person. Just beacuse I am overtly descriptive about my feelings for the other sex does not mean that I have commited a sin. I do not wear my turban for cultural reasons. Indeed, I am under no cumpulsion to wear my turban. I do not do it to please my parents or my relatives or the priests. I do it beacuse I feel I have a duty towards something that is much greater than us all. I do it because I feel like doing it. I have always considered myself a very spiritual person but I am not an orthodox person. I attempt to understand and respect mine as well as other religions and love God. I do not think God wanted me to be celebate all my life. If I choose not to hide behind a facade of hypocrisy, that does not make me a sinner or anyless religious than the next guy. I am not a promiscous individual. I do not believe in sleeping around or using women to my advantage. And trust me, that requires a lot of discipline to curb the temptations. I am a young guy who is of marriageable age. My parents are impatient for their daughter-in-law and I am only trying to find them one. If in the process I also try to have a clean, good time, I do not think I deserve to go to hell. It amazes me that writing a blog or calling a spade a spade( or a fox a fox) would lead people to believe that I am bereft of any spiritual depth. Gimme that much credit, please.

I do agree with those who say that looks constitute an important part of the decision process for an arranged marriage. I have admitted that and it only proves the point that this concept is an imperfect one. But to say that western Sikh girls have some sort of divine right to marry clean shaven guys is a bunch of crap. Somebody asked me If I would marry a black girl. That is perhaps one step ahead of asking me if I would marry a Gursikh girl(which I think I have answered above). It smacks of racism and a complete insensitivity to whatever I stand for. If I were to meet a black girl who would steal my heart away, I would marry her. She might steal my heart through her gorgeous looks or through her personality. I don't care. Is this ever going to happen? maybe not and the reason would be that my current contacts are introducing me to Sikh girls they think would be suitable for me. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate their efforts and would encourage them to continue to do that vigorously. I gave this instance merely to make a point.

So, to cut through the crap. I am open to marry a Gursikh girl who does not cut her hair. On the other hand, I am not going to reject a girl because she does cut her hair if I like her otherwise. The trouble is that the Sikh girls are not that flexible. They want no hair.Period. And that is what disturbs me. They associate hair with a sign of backwardness or whatever while that is nothing but falsehood. Keeping an appendage of the body should not b equated with who you are and it certainly does not mean that you can't be romantic, modern or cool. Look at me. I am a Sikh, I am a lover and I am so cool that I blow the crap out of John Travolta. Ok, maybe that was too much.

Anyways, that is enough cerebral acrobatics for one day. Thank you all for your compliments and for your rants. Keep them coming. And, Ms Singh, I shall wait for your phone no. or email or something.


Blogger Lilly said...

It's surprising that you feel such a need to justify your writing to random names who type on your blog.

5:54 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Lilly said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:55 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Harry Singh said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:42 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger grey said...

One Non-Whining Post and thou shall have a date - is it so difficult to comprehend ?

4:41 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Harpreet Kaur said...

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Ok Veerji, regardless of the fact that you took my comment in a completely opposite direction and pretty much to the heart, (even though your friend jiv was able to understand what I was saying because he didn't assume that I was out there to "rant" on you just because I gave a viewpoint contrary to yours) I just wish to say one last thing after your recent post. Now that you have clearly and openly stately you are willing to marry a GURSIKH girl and that you are ( which I never doubted) a GURSIKH guy (and I admire you for your religious ideals), then I really don't think you have any problems left. Why you ask? because any Gursikh girl and there are many out there (you just have to look at the right places)....any truly Gursikh girl would PREFER a turbaned man and probably not even want anyone but a turbaned man. So what puzzles me is when you make comments like "The trouble is that the Sikh girls are not that flexible. They want no hair." Who are you talking about ... it would be only natural/logical for me to assume you're talking about the non religious type because the religious type would prefer no other than a turbaned guy. Just so you don't think I'm generalizing here..the not so outwardly religious girls might also want turbaned guys and just because they are not outwardly religious does not by any means make me think they are not spiritual or good people...they are great! If you are wanting to marry a Gursikh girl I think your turban is the LAST thing you have to worry about in getting you the rishta. I personally know many women who prefer turbaned men and not all of them are the strict religious type either.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.. twas not my intention. I wasn't planning on responding to you at all just because of how you made a 180 degree turn about everything I said.. and basically there's no use for me to get into an argument with you.... but I just didn't want to leave it at such a misunderstanding. I don't know how you interpreted my comment in such a fierce tone that you felt like you had to lash back in such a way...but I am sorry for any hard feelings ... and the assumptions that I made based on your blog posts (even though I did say I'm not trying to judge you). I never thought nor do I think now that you are a bad guy, rather I respect you for your ideals and choice of keeping your hair. I never previously thought or think now that you only like women for their looks, and I am happy to hear you are wanting to marry a Gursikh girl...something which was not made so clear to me before, but thanks for clarifying it now. So with this... good luck in your search and I think probably for your own benefit and mine as well... in the future I will keep my opinions to my self and my own blog...since they are known to be notorious for creating controversy.

May Waheguru Ji Bless You

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

10:30 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Harry Singh said...

No hard feelings towards anyone. I merely expressed my opinion.:)

4:48 PM, January 27, 2006  

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