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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Et tu (a) Freud

Blogging is supposed to work like an emotional cathartic. At least, I have always felt like that. But I had no idea that blogging will also save me money that I would have otherwise spent on a shrink. Thanks to this blog, I have had the pleasure of my personality dissected inside out by amateur and wannabe Freuds. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the expenditure of mental energies on me. It is always a good idea to learn about myself from others. You could say that that might be one of the reasons I write a blog and present myself for such analysis. But also remember, what you might think you see in me may partly be your own reflection. A process that psychiatrisits describe as "Projection". Anywho. Thanks for all your comments. I could not help make this observation though. Inherent in most arguments is the admission that turbans are indeed considered by women to be a negative accesory. My row is against that matter and that matter alone. Rest is coincidental.

It seems like it has been my sad duty to play the Devil's Advocate throughout. Maybe the turban is just incidental here. Maybe the truth behind my woes is elsewhere. Unfortunately, I have not been able to determine any other factor. But it is kind of a mute point now. They say the darkest hour of the night is right before dawn. I am getting the feeling that my dawn may be close.

The other day I went with C to watch this new movie "Inside Man". It is a Spike Lee movie with an abundance of usual Spike Lee style racial allusions and metaphors. What was interesting was the appearance of a young Sikh guy who works in the bank. It is amazing how the movie devotes 10 seconds for the guy to vent against the daily problems that a turbaned Sikh guy experiences. He mentions the selective frisking at the airports, the usual mistaken identity with Arabs so on and so forth. Sitting in the theatre, I felt like Waris Ahluwalia was giving life to my thoughts. As he was speaking on the screen, C kept squeezing my hand as a gesture of silent acknowledgement. Touche, Spike. Interestingly, the movie also opens with a score from Chaiya Chaiya. Overall, I feel happy that there has been a good platform for the concerns of the Sikh community to be voiced.

48 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Inherent in most arguments is the admission that turbans are indeed considered by women to be a negative accesory. My row is against that matter and that matter alone."
Yes! your row is agaist that matter and our ( blog readers) row is that turbans are considered postive accesory by both men and women. One does not have to wear turban to consider it a positive acessory.
I would appreciate your effort if you can just stop blaming woman for one second. What do you have agaisnt them.
Read this sentence again and please explain it.
"Inherent in most arguments is the admission that turbans are indeed considered by women to be a negative accesory."
My biggest problem with this blog is that you keep blaming woman.

9:22 PM, April 30, 2006  
Anonymous tyrannical sikh woman fo' life said...

mine too anon. harry can't take the heat and is "projecting" his insecurities onto sikh women.

harry, you're a smart man supposedly. why the grill against sikh women? do you not recognize your own prejudices, emblematic in your writings on this blog, WHATSOEVER? it is annoying already!

3:55 AM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have to come back again and again to remind Harry about his prejudices against women. I don't care how smart he is, how great he is because I can't tolerate men who project their insecurities onto women (not just Sikh women).
Harry masculinity is not in your balls. It lies deep in your heart.
Tyrannical Sikh Woman fo’ life:
I agree this blog is annoying already!
Some people consider a woman gay when she really speaks for herself. Isn’t it ironic how men are considered masculine when they speak for themselves and women are considered not so feminine when they try to voice their opinion?
Most men can’t handle strong, intelligent, smart, and very opinionated women. Harry is no exception! He is just being a man ( according to cultural norms)

6:11 AM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To all who said and will say that this blog is "annoying"... Get a life, stop bitching and stop visiting this blog... Simple...

7:48 AM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Exactly. No one is holding a gun to anybody's head. If you don't like what the guy has to say, stop reading his blog.Harry has the right to say whatever he wants. Keep Blogging, Harry......

8:43 AM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is for our esteemed women...

It goes like this.. I hate the taste of Alcohol, but I still drink it ... for what ??
I hate Harrys blog , but I come again and again to read it .. For what ??

U guys are addicted .. Live with it ...

OAS
Tyrannical .. . Blah Blahh.. Rip me off .. Please !! I'm addicted to it !

9:52 AM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow look at the logic here--if you dont agree with his views, go away, your views are inconsequential.

Why shouldnt the sikh women be allowed to post their views if harry is allowed to post his?
We do not live in iran do we? sikh women have equal rights, plus they do have a point.

11:34 AM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Finally you men are showing your true colors. You guys made me imagin a incident involving Mai Bhago and those 40 Sikhs who refused to fight at Muktsar. I can imagine how you would have reacted if Mai Bhago had said "Why don't you get some bangles and put them around your wrist"
You must have replied by saying "woman you are bitching and go away".
If you can take praise, be ready to face criticism. I still think men and women in Dastaar are most handsome. As for Harry's turban - I don't know.
Why you all are so scared of women. You are so scared that you have to come up with arguements like such as esteemed women you are addicted to this blog. No! we are not addicted to blog. We just want to see how many like you exist on this earth and we want to face you. Do not forget this is year 2006 and here in America women are independent and educated. What make you think that they are going to sit back and listen to you. Double standard for women do bother me lot and I see Harry never fails to show that he does have double standards when it comes to women. I am pissed off when I see so called educated Sikh professional blaming women (Sikh) for his unsuccessful search of finding a wife.

12:15 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay .. Harry kind of exxagerates his plight .. I agree .. but he is not actually that OFF the mark..
So as far as education goes.. the most educated women (cousins) in my family married cut surds .. they were Admant.. Infact the ones who married Sikh guys with a turban, married them under parental pressure , to be honest..

As far as I go.. well hmm , never been with a Sikh women ever .. because before approaching .. I look around and say .. Its gonna be awkward, if she totally dismisses .. me .. and hence My domain is {everyone -minus Sikh women} .. Been with few wonderful women(non sikh) ..
'cause I have seen the chaging times .. and to be Brutally frank I dont even wanna be with a Sikh female anymore

Women .. brought this upon themselves.. We(men) arnt to blame..

Those of u who still like Tubaned guys .. trust me :ur MINORITY .. like maybe 5-10% .. we are(turbaned guys) around 10-20 % ..Hence there is a supply and demand Mismatch.. Hence till that gets rectified ,, the Debate will go on ..

The possible prognosis for that is that More turbaned men will cut their hair and the supply and demand will match again..
Well. more women liking turbaned guys .. hmmm that's kind of hard !

Yup read along women ,, express ur anguish .. but u will never find out how it is to be at teh recieving end of being rejected by the women of ur own community !!! You are the only ones in the whole wide world and shall remain the only ones .. who have this dubious ditiction..

~A

12:49 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Guys: My cousin sent me this:
ENJOY!

STRENGHT IN INDIAN WOMEN
This is a classic and completely true. We rock!
This letter was written in response to an article:
Dear Editor:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male
readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Indian male -
good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of
Indian female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Indian women were slim to
none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too
argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much
excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was
constantly approached by Indian men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Indian women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of, 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen,
the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl
Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us
White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts
together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men
better. If I'm wrong, Indian men, let me know.
A Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.

Response:
Dear Editor:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White
Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old indian man. I
graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a
major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I
consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Non-White men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want
to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated
white women was because they were considered easy. The Indian girls
in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to.
Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone
who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned
to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Indian males date white women
because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men,
because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Indian women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously comment on
how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Indian men date white women. Non-Whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan,
Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong
Non-White women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white
men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire
Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and
David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl
to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you
were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each
other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the
Non-White woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Non-White women who were breastfeeding and raising your ! babies during slavery. It is the Non-White woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Indian women were born with two strikes against them: being
Non-White and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the Indian women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Indian women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Indian women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you
wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can
walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife
and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and
understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate and;
unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.

Signed,
Indian Royalty

From: Mr A in the UK

4:04 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It kind of reminds me of you Harry
*Mr A

4:05 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon said "Women .. brought this upon themselves.. We(men) arnt to blame.. "

I will never be interested in man who can speak such words. I used to counsel adult men who assaulted women. One of them said same exact words. Of course this guy was trying to justify his actions by blaming it onto women. I deal with women who are victims of domestic abuse. So naturally, I am very sensitive to what is being said about women on this blog.

4:06 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A Women (does not matter to which ethnic background she belongs to) in general reflects strength, elegance, power, love, and beauty despite their shape, size, color, and shade. Every woman has strong spirit, loving and nurturing soul, integrity, and ability to overcome great obstacles. No man has fallen from sky right? Somebody nourished you for nine months in her womb. One day a woman will also give birth to your bone and flesh (your child will not fall from sky). Next time, when you talk about a woman keep this in mind.
Don’t call a woman chick, foxy, and many other labels you go for her. As a woman I don’t ask for respect, I demand respect from you (simply because a woman gave you birth). As a woman I just give more in any relationship (as a mother, sister, wife, friend, and daughter) than I take. Respect applies to all women (includes all ethnic backgrounds)

4:25 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mann this is fun .
The Domestic Abuse Counselor!!
Atleast have a call sign when u write replies helps me address u ...
Nyways , dont worry, I am never gonna hit a female. The last I had a confrontation with anyone ws probably in 9th grade, when this dude in school removed my Patka (actually kicked my juda) and I thrashed him so bad that I felt sorry afterwards.. I mean I couldnt believ that I had hit someone.. that was the last time , its been a decade and I still remember it..

My comment was not even bordering around my being violent.. first and second everyone reads what they wanna read ... and u read something that gave u a feeling of deja vu.. so honey , there is no Psycho on board here , we are all educated people(hopefully ),,
If u cannot disgest social change and just wanna attack someone , by quoating a line, that makes u a weak Debater ..
I NEED ONE WOMEN TO AGREE TO THE FACT THAT , THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE IN SIKH WOMENS ATTITUDE TOWARDS TURBANED MEN... NOT ONE SAYS THAT ..AND IT SCHOCKS ME .. IT REALLY DOES..

WE ARNT STUPID HERE ,WRITING FROM OUR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCES ..
SOMEONE ATLEAST CONCUR .. AND PUT IT DOWN..

~A

5:14 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous givelove said...

WE NEED TO STOP THE BLAME GAME. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT HARRY IS BLAMING WOMEN, HE IS STATING HIS OBSERVATION.

"harry, you're a smart man supposedly. why the grill against sikh women?"

"As for Harry's turban - I don't know.
Why you all are so scared of women."

"As far as I go.. well hmm , never been with a Sikh women ever .. because before approaching .. I look around and say .. Its gonna be awkward, if she totally dismisses .. me .."

HOWEVER, I DO BELIEVE THAT HARRY SHOULD CONSIDER ANOTHER ANGLE AT LOOKING AT THE SITUATION. PLEASE READ BELOW.

Take the last comment above. What is it really saying? On one hand, there exists the view by some women that the turban is not preferable(we have revealed this through matrimonial adds and debate), however, we have not considered the effect that the turban has on the person who wears the turban. To what extent does the turban lower one's self esteem and confidence? Harry, this could be something you could comment on. Will the same man with a Turban ask out fewer women than if he was w/o the turban. This relates to the effect on the psyche. Naturally, one who asks out less people will find fewer potential mates.

Thus it is this interplay between the Turban's effect on one's psyche and belief that they will be successful in their pursuit of the female and the reality that some women will not accept a man w/ a turban.

But since so many people on this forum wish to blame something for this predicament, I will fill you in on who the true culprit is. IT IS THE ENVIRONMENT! YOUR SURROUNDINGS, YOUR EXPERIENCES, THE MESSAGES THAT YOU ARE RAISED WITH WILL SHAPE YOUR PREFERENCES.

For turbaned Sikh men, this is my question for you....

1)how many girls have you ever asked out
2)how many rejected you b/c you wore a turban
3)how many girls have you liked but didn't ask out b/c you thought they would reject you b/c of the turban.

If 1 + 2 is less than 3, you haven't been playin the game of love, you've been warming the bench.

6:05 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to "tyrannical sikh woman for life"- yes you are the empowered lot. Marry a west raised man who cares about his woman's opinion. We indian born sikhs (esp turbaned sikhs) are just stinking pigs who want to keep their women in the house and beat the crap out of them when they protest. Our only hopes of getting married is to find someone who has been forced by her narrow minded parents to marry a turbaned guy , or marry a gori if she is able to look through the turban and understand that there is more to us than being pigs.

6:54 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are not able to find a sikh girl you like because you are looking at girls who are not from your religion. looking for them is like considering a muslim girl(for example) and getting rejected by her wouldnt be a problem would it?

Everything falls into place if you accept that sikhism is not 1 religion, it is several, with caste ordering as follows-
1) clean shaven & jat
2) clean shaven other castes
3) turbaned jats
4) turbaned other castes

you are at the bottom of the heirarchy (a shudra), accept it, life would be better. Why would a brahmin girl marry a shudra unless something is seriously wrong with her (even then!).

I told my sisters about this blog and they agree mostly. My elder sister is married to a shudra I and my parents chose for her, and the younger thinks than all turbaned sikh men are suckers. She told me in no uncertain terms that I will have trouble marrying up in the hierarchy and that I should consider changing my last name to Randhawa or something, and removing any traces of hair from my body.... the only problem then is that my acne filled and scarred face would come out in full glory, and then no one would marry me anyway. So i have to marry someone who has something wrong with her enough that she is willing to marry a shudra.

your fellow shudra.

mood==sarcastic...

7:13 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I NEED ONE WOMEN TO AGREE TO THE FACT THAT , THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE IN SIKH WOMENS ATTITUDE TOWARDS TURBANED MEN... NOT ONE SAYS THAT ..AND IT SCHOCKS ME .. IT REALLY DOES..

Ok A tell me one thing.
Most men in Punjab cut their hair and do not wear turban. Arrange marriages are prevalent in this state. Are these men cutting their because women over there do not find turban very appealing. Explain this to me. Domestic Violence is serious issue in America ( it is social issue that women are facing all around the world). You find this who issue very funny.

For turbaned Sikh men, this is my question for you....

1)how many girls have you ever asked out
2)how many rejected you b/c you wore a turban
3)how many girls have you liked but didn't ask out b/c you thought they would reject you b/c of the turban.
Answer these questions for me and than we will see who got weaker arguement.
I already know your answer for first question
As far as I go.. well hmm , never been with a Sikh women ever .. because before approaching .. I look around and say .. Its gonna be awkward, if she totally dismisses .. me .. and hence My domain is {everyone -minus Sikh women} .. Been with few wonderful women(non sikh) ..
'cause I have seen the chaging times .. and to be Brutally frank I dont even wanna be with a Sikh female anymore

This is what you said earlier.

Sarah

7:14 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought harder and there are further observations
1. the caste system holds only for males. A girl born to a shudra guy can move up the heirarchy easily.
2. The easiest way shudras can improve their lot is by cutting of their hair, but shudras are backward and rigid enough not to do that. Some of us (like Amrit) are pragmatic enough to get rid of them early on in our life.
3. Some shoodras like u think that by being successful in career and nice you can move up the hierarchy. Nothing could be farther from the truth brother. You are doomed to exist only as a shoodra
4. Here is some good news. The shoodra caste is eventually going to die a natural death because they will get only the scum of the species as mates. They are already the minority of the population, and soon they would be reduced to a tiny number who can be easily wiped off by crazy americans who think they are arabs.


"sorry if we cannot give you a more positive response at this point. We hope you would be successful in your search for a sikh girl who has something seriously wrong with her."

7:24 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are not able to find a sikh girl you like because you are looking at girls who are not from your religion. looking for them is like considering a muslim girl(for example) and getting rejected by her wouldnt be a problem would it?

Everything falls into place if you accept that sikhism is not 1 religion, it is several, with caste ordering as follows-
1) clean shaven & jat
2) clean shaven other castes
3) turbaned jats
4) turbaned other castes

you are at the bottom of the heirarchy (a shudra), accept it, life would be better. Why would a brahmin girl marry a shudra unless something is seriously wrong with her (even then!).

I told my sisters about this blog and they agree mostly. My elder sister is married to a shudra I and my parents chose for her, and the younger thinks than all turbaned sikh men are suckers. She told me in no uncertain terms that I will have trouble marrying up in the hierarchy and that I should consider changing my last name to Randhawa or something, and removing any traces of hair from my body.... the only problem then is that my acne filled and scarred face would come out in full glory, and then no one would marry me anyway. So i have to marry someone who has something wrong with her enough that she is willing to marry a shudra.

your fellow shudra.

mood==sarcastic...

7:13 PM

I simply love this comment. Reminds me of “Steven Cobert Report”. This is true and there is no blame game here. I am still laughing (I know the issue itself is not very funny)
Well done Shudra! I wish only if Harry can write like this than I will surely enjoy reading this blog. You see your one comment summed up what Harry has been trying to say all along very unsuccessfully.

Peace
Shudra Sister

7:26 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Shudra Sister.
Why do you deprecate your worth by calling yourself a shudra? No girl should ever have to go through what we shudras have to go through. Its a constant fight for us you know. Living with the turban everyday, trying to fight against pre conceived notions PLUS being turned down by educated, smart and empowered sikh women who show the finger to them all the time. Shudras curse the day they were born. Maybe God will give them the brains to never let their children go through all this.

Maybe the following q'ata by Faiz sums their plight up-
'Jinka din pairav-e-kazb-o-riya hai unko,
himmat-e-kufr mile, jurrate tehkik mile,
jinke sar muntazir-e-tegh-e-jafa hain unko,
dast-e-qatil ko jhatak dene ki taufiq mile'

(Those whose religion is deceit and conceit,
may they get the strength challenge their beliefs,
Those who have the beheaders sword hanging on their head,
may get the strength to take it away)


Do you also wear a turban and are looked down by sikh men? Is that why you are a shudra?

shudra singh

7:55 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Firstly Tyranical Sikh women ..
Ur Messed up .. I guess even most women on this blog would agree .. yeah I can see them smile

Now for Sarah,
umm.. hard questions ..
I dont have statistics..
But Yes I have generally asked out Non Sikh Women.. and have been asked out by Non Sikh women .. Would say have been lucky ..
Got rejected a few times and rejected a few myself ,, I guess fair enough..
{ For those probably smiling and saying , must have gone after easy women.. well I spent a good 1 years getting one to say the three lovely words .. she was grace personified, .. I'm an absolute romantic by the way}

Yes u probably have a point that I should ask out a Sikh women .. but I just cant .. its beyond me .. I just feel so unsure .. Frankly i dont think I am to blame here Totally.. u girls I hope will be kind enough to share a little of the blame.. :-)))

And I was actually thinking about a few of the Sikh women I know..or have known,, Not one actually got married to a Turbaned Sikh, guy..

I cant give more proof .. If u still have doubts .. The Debates on ..

Have u dated Turbaned sikh Sarah? where .. ?

~A

8:06 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually Pity the guy who started the Shudra Debate..


Okay , Guru Gobind singh Ji's biggest contribution was the Establishment of the Khalsapanth , by eliminating castetism.. He introduced "khande da pahul" . Guru Gobind Singh called them Panj Piare, the five devoted spirits beloved of the Guru. These five, three of them from the so-called low-castes, a Ksatriya and a Jatt, formed the nucleus of the self-abnegating, martial and CASTELESS fellowship of the Khalsa.They were all called SINGHS ...

Its for those who are educated..for the rest ..Please dont even think about commenting on this one..

OAS

8:12 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OAS, It was a sarcastic comment.
the last guru did try to rectify the caste system, but I unfortunately have to say that we have failed him miserably. That is the truth. There are so many castes. Have u ever been to a sikh matrimonial site? Youd be surprised.
You are at best living with a utopian view of sikhism in which there is no caste.

Pity me, for sure, for your own good.

8:19 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didnt see the sarcasm in ur comment.. but lets not touch that topic , it just becomes ugly..
As for when you say "we" failed him, dont include me in it, I might sound overoptimistic.. but I was a born fighter in community of marshals which would be Sikhs ,
"There is a light at the end of tunnel... Hopefully its not that of an oncoming train"
Twisted Sidhus quote.. :-))

OAS

8:44 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay lets not go there. It will become ugly.

8:46 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you also wear a turban and are looked down by sikh men? Is that why you are a shudra?

shudra singh

You got it right brother?
I am also a Shudra sister who has been constantly looked down by both turbned men and all those other four categories you mentioned in your previous post. Have been through all that and still haven't once criticized men. I don't blame men if I am looked down. I simply don't care anymore. No big deal! I go out volunteer at hospital and that itself takes care of many issues.

Now let us address our brother OAS who certainly got utopian view of Sikhism. He failed to see your point. Sundra brother made a sarcastic remark to address the issue. Watch "Steven Cobert Report" show and you will understand what real sarcasm is (I know you already know the definition). We all failed Guru Gobind Singh Ji big time. I often wonder about him, and sacrifices other Sikhs made for Justice, equality, and freedom. Everyday when I do Ardas I remember them and than next instant I know I am not standing up for what they stood up in their life. Even with my Kesh and Dastaar!

A
I have one humble request
Please don't call Tyrannical Sikh woman a messed up one. You don't know her and you don't understand her circumstances. For once imagine her as your loving sister.

9:06 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A
I have not gone out with Turbaned men. I have a good friend who is Sikh (He is Amritdhari). I know too many men from too many different cultures. Most of the time we just debate and I am only girl among all these men discussing politics.
Next time will you ask a Sikh woman out (She will not shoot you!)? I wonder how hard it is to be sweet to your own kind.
Let us know what happened?
and try to be extra sweet!
Debate is still on. If I can debate with men from all different parts of the world at one time than I am sure I can debate with you on this issue.
We will pick it up tomorrow.

Sarah

9:18 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shudrani-ji.
Those upper caste people giving u a hard time eh? Thatz why we have reservations in india sister!

Dont worry, there are plenty of sikh men who like turbaned sikh women (I am sure that I am one, hence there must be many).

Working in a hospital is good. I guess everyone has some love in them, which has to be given somewhere. In your case, you are spreading the love to so many people. your caste is a blessing in disguise to many, if you didnt already think about it that way.

the shudra bro.

9:25 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm still confused on this whole shudra/shudri issue. Any one want to enlighten me?

9:53 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do u wear a turban and are non jatt? u are a shudra then. u'd never find a decent girl ever in ur life. welcome to the sikh shudra society of the USA.

10:35 PM, May 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, I've been eying this blog for a while now and I can see a few patterns forming.

We've got most of the guys complaining about not getting girls cause they have beards and turbans.

And we've got girls telling the guys that they like guys with beards and turbans.

We've even got white women mentioning how they've married sardars.

Women are trying hard to help these guys overcome their own weaknesses and the guys are so stubborn that they are shooting themselves in the foot. I applaude these women.

Guys listen to these women, they aint lying to you. A women will never tell you but the biggest turn off for them is insecurity. No matter what women say they want a strong man to help them, I say strong as in emotionally and in mind, why so ? because women are emotionally weak...its just nature.

Stop feeling bad for yourselves and do something about it. Work on you on yourself. They say that sikhi is dying...no its not...its only becoming stronger because the weak are leaving.

maniac sardar

5:14 AM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

true. shudras are dying. God save the shudras. Give us reservations with women :-D

10:52 AM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

maniac sardar
I agree with your analysis of this blog. You almost got everything right except this statement
"No matter what women say they want a strong man to help them, I say strong as in emotionally and in mind, why so ? because women are emotionally weak...its just nature."
Yes insecurity among men is big turnoff for women because women are very stron emotionally (If women were emotionally weak I don't think we would exist on this earth) and they just want to somebody who is as strong as them. It is totally different issue that most men ( not all men) fail to recognize the true spirit of women.

11:00 AM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

women are not weak. esp sikh women. THey are the strongest women around- almost all of them weight >200 pounds and look like a pehelwan right after marriage.

11:19 AM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harry why dont you disable anonymous comments ?

1:19 PM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous givelove said...

I know this may flare some emotions but I have never thought of the "Jatt" caste as an elite group. So if they want to stick to themselves on matrimonial sites that's fine with me. Plus I don't believe in caste, I go by the individual. If you think you are a shudra b/c you are not a Jatt, you have seriously been brainwashed.

Let's discuss some history. The Jatts are a unique group of people. They migrated into India and were not accepted or integrated into the hierarchy of Indian society. They have always been a separate group. While people of different hindu castes converted to Sikhism, the entire Jatt population pretty much became Sikhs. Understanding this will help you understand why Jatts cut and grow back their hair with greater ease. "Kar de kheti" I belive is the phrase. Jatts were and are still considered Sikhs even after they cut their hair b/c Sikhism was the only religion the Jatts had. However, when a non- Jatt would cut his hair, he would be setting himself you to eventually blend back once again into Hinduism. If you were non-Jatt and you cut your hair, you were becoming a Hindu again. Basically, when the Jatt would cut his hair, he would not return to Hinduism b/c he was never a Hindu to begin with.

Think about the mandates against smoking, these came about b/c the Jatts used to smoke the reafer. If you don't believe me, go talk to Dr. Gurinder Mann, professor of Sikh Studies at UCSB. He is a Jatt himself.

What am I saying? Don't get hung up on Jatts if you are not one. They've been a separate group for hundreds of years and hair is not as important to their identity as Sikhs as it is for non-Jatts.

Jatt hogaya shraabi peg mar ke!
Brraaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Damn they are a lively bunch!

4:09 PM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

brilliant post. never thought of it that way.

5:51 PM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The difference education makes.. the people hell bent on calling them shudras.. listen to this guy.. he makes a bloody good point..

6:20 PM, May 02, 2006  
Anonymous Annu said...

Lovely post by maniac sardar.I don't think you are that maniac at all mate:) However I, too, disagree with women being emotionally weak. No woman emotionally weak would be able to stay at home with a bunch of kids, be it 1,2 or 5, for 24/7, like many women in Indian society do. I don't consider myself emotionally weak, just technically weak if you need to find soemthing weak in me:D. That is, I refuse to do any manly jobs at home, such as changing light bulbs, hammering nails to walls, putting new furniture together or crushing any crawling spiders that have chosen to take a walk on my ceiling. But I am losing the actual point here so I better shut up now...:)

1:23 AM, May 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps I chose the wrong description "emotionally weak" by using that term I ment women do like to have a man thats strong and stabel...emotionally

I certianly hope that the guys wake up and realize what they have. The power they weild in their hands.

maniac sardar.

5:31 AM, May 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to the anonymous shudra dude..wot you on about...the more you believe that being of a lower or higher caste has anything to do with anything in this world then im afraid you are going to be wetting your palms for a long time to come bcoz with that type of negativity, you deserve it..peace! givelove..well said

5:57 AM, May 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is the shudra dude.
I was kidding, it was a sarcastic note on some previous posts on this blog that said that "clean shaven JSMs" need to respond.

I aint jatt, wear a turban and I have been dating a very special girl who is jatt, and comes from a "Clean shaven" family. So. no wetting palms or anything!

shudra singh

7:43 AM, May 03, 2006  
Blogger SikhsRus said...

Don't worry Harry Singh Ji! Wahegugu will find a beautiful loving wife for you. You seem like such a nice person, and not only that you sir are a doctor. Even though doctors do have very busy lives! Have you tried matrimonials section at www.Sikhnet.com ? If you are looking for a gursikh and caste, creed and race is no bar, then you may want to attend their "summer Solicitice" event. I have never done it and am happily married, but it is a thought.

12:51 PM, May 04, 2006  
Blogger SikhsRus said...

btw, great blog! Good luck.

12:52 PM, May 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nanak dunia sab sansar.

12:09 PM, May 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nanak dukhia sab sansar.

12:09 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger jus_btwn_u_n_me said...

jus chanced upon this article in ure blog..well, i m a well-educated, smart, good-looking jat sikh gal frm india and i do happen to agree that sikh women these days prefer non-turbaned guys..sikh women who like guys wth turbans are unheard of by me...its jus tht wen men grow their beards and hair, thy look pretty sad wth half their faces taken up by the long beards n the turbans..the turbaned look makes them look much older too..its an uncle look really..few guys r soo smashing tht turbans dont make a difference..

10:22 AM, January 12, 2008  

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